Why can’t we just burn down bikini espresso stands?

Oh, you heard it here first, folks. Well, not first. As it happened two weeks ago, and my internet went down, and I was a pinch lazy in posting this. Eh, what are you gonna do, right?

At any rate, I was on the news. A guy was shot outside of a Slut Hut [bikini barista] that’s right down from my place of residence. They knew a good looking guy when they saw one, and asked for a nigga’s opinion. I look like shit here, since it’s like, 6 am and I just got back from the methadone clinic. No, that isn’t a joke. Plus, I was WAY subdued in my response, out of respect for the dead, and they cut my response down big time. But ah well.

http://www.king5.com/topstories/stories/NW_091409WAB-deadly-espresso-shooting-TP.17bf3d6bf.html   – head on over there to peep your boy. Live and in color.

Here’s how I really feel about the situation.

DISCLAIMER: I know not everyone fits the mold. There are exceptions to the rule, and I speak about everyone except them. So don’t try and tell me about a girl working a slut hut to pay for college. I don’t give a fuck about the hooker with a heart of gold. I know she exists. / DISCLAIMER

OK, so let’s get the facts first.

Girl is working at a place where even before they became slut huts, the object was that lame-ass dudes with no dick would come by to try and seem like Joe Cool and drop huge tips because they’re jack-offs with nothing to offer who obviously wouldn’t mind a girl who’s motivated by money. Well, they’re mostly American, so it’s in their blood. Anyways, so now a days, because truly the world will become Escape From LA, everything has to revolve around some obnoxious, dim-witted, 2-dollar slut shoving her tits in your face.

Girl dated crazy meth smoker. Girl probably got her ass kicked a bunch, was told to leave him before it got bad, she waited too long, then left, and tadow. He kills her new boyfriend in a car washing parking lot.

Now, you may say;

“But Caliber, just because they work here, they’re not sluts!”

Yes they are. To me, a slut isn’t just someone who has their lives revolve around sex, but more someone who’s entire life is based of the value of aesthetics. For those who may be reading this, that are that type, aesthetics is a ‘fancy’ word for ‘really pretty shiny things’. So, the girls who work here are obviously the type who are going to make their entire run at life based on their looks. They always have, they always will. They fear things like education, personalities, good will, hard work, self-confidence, and class. They aren’t worth spit in this life, and they’ll do whatever they can to milk their pathetic existence for as long as they can. With plastic surgery, diet pills, and whatever else America can sell them. They want to marry rich, and divorce richer. They want to avoid doing ANYTHING for themselves. They should all be shot. That would kick ass.

But who should we also shoot? Their dads. In the end, girls like these are almost ALWAYS created by their fathers. How so? By dad being a jack-off. Never being there. Never caring. Never giving attention. Just being a shallow dick who’d drop $20 bills into an espresso girl’s cup in hopes of getting laid. Then he does, they’re both too drunk to use a condom, and tadow! You’ve got a kid that you resent and neglect. So, this girl wafts through life with no values, no morals, and no real sense of decency. She seeks male companionship from anything that will choose to look at her.

But what’s her favorite? Could it be the ‘bad boy’? The guy who drinks, does drugs, get’s in lots of fights, ends up in jail a lot and has a really awesome future stripping concrete forms at construction sites. Gosh, who does that remind us of, girls? Daddy, perhaps? So, they date these douche bags, they get their asses kicked for years, people tell them to leave, these girls are far too stupid and inept and fear not being taken care of, so they stick it out. Well, after a couple times of almost dying, they leave. But the guy is so far gone, he makes an attempt to kill her. Sometimes he does. Sometimes he kills her and whoever else she’s dating now.

Or, in the case of what happened two weeks ago, he just kills the boyfriend.

And THAT is what happens when you have places like this.

You think this kind of crap ever happens at Jo-Ann Fabrics? You think you get a lot of murderous, jealous boyfriends popping up at the ol’ Borders and opening fire in the Sports & Humor section? No!

These types of places attract the same exact crowd. Stupid, obnoxious whores with a weak existence of a life trying to do whatever the most  minute amount of work until they can find a guy making at least $20 an hour to take care of them. Followed by jack-off guys who are just as stupid, pathetic and lame as the girls they seek who inhabit these places. So, placing these types in this enviroment just has to equal a good time, right?

I mean, shit. The espresso stand has long since only been around for the sole purpose of getting lame-dudes to shell out bucks to look at hot chicks. But there was always that “Nooo, they just want coffee” thing we could get away with saying. But not now. What the fuck is next? Bikini libraries? Bikini law firms?

This country is so goddamn pathetic and it’s like everyday it keeps stacking up reasons for me to hate the living shit out of it.

Whatever  happened to shame? To decency? To fucking dignity? This country made sure it was all chewed up and spit out in order for us to buy whatever the fuck it may be shoving down our throats at any given time.

Places like these are popping up EVERYWHERE, and it’s only going to get worse.

First, we had the espresso stand. Started with a little, but the little wasn’t doing so the little got more and more.
Then we got the Bikini Barista. Sluts serving coffee in their bikinis. Started with a little, but the little wasn’t doing so the little got more and more.
Then they moved on to lingerie. Started with a little, but the little wasn’t doing so the little got more and more.

Now they wear pasties or strips of tape.

What the hell is next? I heard a story on the news about a bust going down at one of these places where for some extra money girls would lick whipped cream off each other and such. Sssssshhhoooocking! It is seriously only going to get worse, and worse, and worse.

And we have all you fine American’s to thank. Right on.

OK. I’m done for now.

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~ by Caliber Winfield on September 26, 2009.

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