Reason #224 Why I Hate America
The Kardashian/Laker-Guy wedding.
Why, for the love of FUCK, do people give two shits about these douche-bags getting married?
I mean, imagine if aliens landed on the planet, and asked you to explain to them why this was worthy of people paying attention.
“Well, cuz that Kardashian skank is famous”
“Famous for what?”
“Her brain-dead sister had sex with a guy named Ray-J and they taped it. And it got out”
“She’s famous for having sex on tape? Why?”
“Why is Ray-J famous?”
“His sister is a quasi-famous actress and singer. Ray-J says he’s a singer, but not ONE person could name you one of his songs”
“So, two people, both idiots, had sex on tape and now we care when their really vapid and stupid siblings get married?”
“Well, her sister is also friends of Paris Hilton. So, she’s also famous by association.”
“Why is Paris famous?”
“She had sex on tape”
“Do you think we aliens will be a big news deal?”
“…..if you have sex on tape”
SERIOUSLY. That’s how it would go. This country makes me so fucking sick for giving an ounce of piss about any of this. These girls should be amidst their birth right. Floating through life completely asinine and dull while pumping out kids so she won’t have to work for a living.
It is seriously the craziest thing if you think about it. People care about this chunk of playdough getting married because her sister had sex and video taped it! It blows the f’ning mind!
Speaking of worthless lumps of flesh, that anti-boner of a speed-bump Kristen Cavilari and her amazingly even dumber husband, Spencer Cavilari have actually done something that makes me applaud them. Well, actually it was just Spencer. No, he didn’t kill Kristen and then himself, instead he spoke about how he NEVER wants to have children. Isn’t that fucking AWESOME?! Prayer works, and at least one pair of walking Astro-Glide tubes will not punish this world by having off-spring.
We all know that Kardashian bitch who got married is gonna squirt out a kid real soon, because that marriage will last about 2 months, and since she’s absolutely worthless she knows she can only leech off her rich family for so long, she’s gonna need a paycheck. So, that kid’ll be one.
Then, once that well dries up, the kid will have sex on tape and become President, and the circle of life will continue.
Excuse me while my blood pressure soars to new heights and launches my head a billion feet into the air.
With any luck, it’ll destroy a Hilton or Kardashian.