Hit 88MPH with….The Monday Night Wars
With wrasslin’ not being all that it use to be, I thought I’d hop in the Delorean and re-visit all the hot shit from the Wars.
I started watching wrestling in May of 1995. Some duded with a jeri curl came out and was cussing out a dude dressed like a king at an announcer’s table. It was the coolest shit I’d ever seen. So, there it began. September came around, and the all important Westminster was on. So, with my hopes crushed I scanned the channels. Tadow, baby! Wrestling! Now, we start with my most cherished memories.
- Lex Luger appearing on the first ever Nitro. I lost my shit! I was 11 at the time, and didn’t allow myself to admit wrestling was planned until I was about 14. The Raw the week before had The Bulldog turning on Luger, so I figured that’s why he was here at Nitro, because of that damn Bulldog’s treachery! Not because he was a lying asshole who took about 10 cents on the dollar compared to his previous contract. It was at this point that my eyes were opened to how absolutely shitty WCW was. I fucking hated it.
- The July 95 In Your House had a main event of Diesel vs. Sid in a Lumberjack match. The Raw prior ended with both guys hitting the ring, and their ‘jacks circling the ring as it went off the air. I almost cried I was so upset. I wanted to see that match more than life itself.
- Survivor Series 95 was the first PPV I got to watch live, paid for, with no scramble. It was a big day. When Nash lost, he sat up and said “Goddamn motherfucker!”. I thought that was soooo cool.
- Sitting at the dinner table with the Nitro replay on the screen and my dad asking me “Did Hogan just get knocked out by a girl’s shoe?”
- The Raw Bowl. I was so mad that Razor Ramon was eliminated I turned to Nitro to punish the WWE. No joke. You mess with my main man Razor, you mess with my heart.
- Shawn Micheal’s getting knocked out by Owen. My mom was always telling me that wrestling was ‘fake’. But they played this so well she actually believed it.
- My friend giving me his old Razor Ramon necklace, which was a fake gold painted razor blade that said “Razor Ramon” on it. I ROCKED that shit every where. Peeps caught the vapors when they saw that shit. It also gave me a chance to tell everyone that Razor was the first 4 time IC champ. Oh, they cared. They cared.
- A mummy jumping out of a big block of ice on Nitro. Yep.
- Tearing down all of my Razor and Big Daddy Cool pictures that were on my wall when I heard on the Hotline that they were going to WCW
- SPRINTING to the living room to change the channel to show my mom who was now on WCW. Becoming the world’s biggest nWo mark for 2 years straight. No joke. My mom would tell me “how are they making any money? They aren’t doing this for free” and I’d say “puh-lease mom, Billionaire Ted funds the group”. I thought that shit was stone cold for real, and that they were going to destroy that God-awful WCW.
- Put up a poster that was like a “Tale of the Tape” for Sting & Hogan. I actually BOUGHT Starrcade 97 just to see that match, and that match alone. There was nothing bigger in my eyes than this one match. I couldn’t believe how let down I was.
- Getting in argument with some fat kid at school who told me that Goldberg was a “kodiak bear” and the nWo were a bunch of “poodles”. As it was, I hated, and still do, Bill Goldberg.
- Jumping up and down when Stone Cold gave the stunner to Vince.
- The night after Austin got in Tyson’s face, I went to school in all my Austin gear and kept getting in people’s faces telling them to focus their beady little eyes on the WORLD’S TOUGHEST SON-OF-A-BITCH!
- Flipping the channels back with a fever between the soon-to-be Mankind title change, and the now reformed nWo Elite. That was one of the best nights ever for me.
- Also flipping back and forth the night Jericho appeared on Raw, and Hogan went back to the red and yellow on Nitro. Don’t ask me why I cared about Hogan’s change, I just did.
- Playing all the great THQ wrestling games for 10 hours at a time. Then puking after playing the Akklaim wrestling games for 10 seconds.
There’s a billion other moments, but those are the ones I always think about. Oh, and Gillberg. That was probably the greatest dig at another wrestler ever in a promotion, hands down.