You should have a license to have kids.
Need a license to fish? To hunt? To drive a car?
Then why the hell can people just have kids at any point and time they see fit? 99% of people are fucking idiots, and shouldn’t even be allowed to make decisions for themselves, let alone have children.
You see, most children are born because of this series of events;
Stupid asses believe that having sex is something that only “cool” people do. Despite the fact the most rudimentary of life forms are capable of doing the act. These people are too stupid and inept to do anything else in life so they try and rack up a high number of sexual partners.
Now, since these morons are the type that like reality TV, mp3 ringtones, and tanning beds, they often have sex without protection. Using awesome methods of birth-prevention such as the pull-out. Or, just throwing a hail mary.
Then they give birth to kids they aren’t smart enough, or capable enough to care for and said kids end up neglected and pretty much fucked for life. These douche-bags who like to trick out their cars will spend more time “smoking bud” and “banging bitches” to really give a shit about their daughters. The daughter will grow up in a world with an absent father, and have all sorts of mental problems. Which will then lead to her constantly switching between partners and boyfriends, most of whom will be abusive [just like dad!]. Or, in case of a boy, he’ll take his anger out on society. Be it robbery, murder, or just being an annoying, sissy little Goth kid.
BUT, if we force these assholes to get a license, the world will be a better place.
But Caliber, you say, how can we enforce this?
We either force people to get yearly injections of some kind of solution that makes them sterile, or every time one of these assholes has a kid by accident, we abort it. But then again, that’s what these jack-asses do anyway. Why bother wearing a condom, or just NOT having sex when we can force a life to pay for our mistake. But, don’t get me twisted. I would much prefer these assholes to not have kids then have’em. However, I’d prefer if no abortions were needed at all [as I am VERY pro-choice] and fucking morons WOULD’NT have sex.
So, the test to get the license is as follows;
A monetary test. Those who don’t know what monetary means [which will be most] will be shot on sight. Those who do, must make more than $50,000 a year. As it stands, it cost about 1.1 million dollars to raise a child from birth to graduating a 4 year college. Now, I did the math. It works out to about 136 dollars a day. Now, of course you won’t actually spend that, but that’s the mean. Factor in all of your living expenses, plus your Mrs. $50,000 will BARELY make it comfortable.
A physical test. You must be fit. Fat people are stupid and lazy. They make their children fat and stupid. We aren’t going to be having that.
An intelligence test. Oh, yes of course there will be one of these. Because it’s the most important thing. If you have it, all will fall into place. You’ll have a mix of history, current affairs, math, common sense, and a good mixture of other things. As it stands, most people are fucking idiots. I’ve known people in high school who didn’t know what the HOLOCAUST was. Yes. You heard me. If any one point in time you’ve enjoyed the works of Pairs Hilton, a Kardashian, or anyone famous for being famous, you will not be allowed to have kids. You’ll also be punched in the skull.
Stop having kids.