Top 5 Horror Themed Video Games

VideoGames

Horror video games, does it get any better? Be it slaying vampires as part of your destiny, slaying zombies as a direct result of a pharmacy doing illegal testing, or just a general out-break. Blasting aliens back to the planet from which they came, turning into werewolves and kicking zombies in the groin. It all kicks ass. Growing up, I loved gorey games. I don’t know why, but I just thought they were a blast. Still do. Unfortunately, I’m not that big of a gamer. The only updated system I have is a GameCube. So, don’t get all pissy when Left 4 Dead isn’t on here. I’m sure it’s awesome, but I’ve never played it. So, let’s get into this bad boy…

AlteredBeastLogo2#5 – Altered Beast

RIIISE FROM YOUR GRAVE! How rad is that? It’s the quote that brought the Sega Genesis to prominence.  You’re brought out of your stone tomb, then what do you proceed to do? Kick zombies in the nuts, turn into a werewolf, dragon, tiger, bear, ’72 Cutlass Supreme in order to run over kids and people who watch reality TV. I was a Nintendo kid growing up, so I never had a Sega. But me pal did, and I’d play it all the time. There’s only one other game that made me want a Sega, and its…

splatterhouselogo2#4 – Splatterhouse

Hell. To. The. Yes. Man, if you thought annoying parent groups and shit had a problem with Mortal Kombat, they’re lucky that this gem never became very mainstream. Splatterhouse is an awesome uber-classic that has our hero donning an ancient mask in order to put some hair on his knuckles and back so he can bust monster skulls and get his bitch back. You blow the brains out of whatever comes on the screen, be it with a board, or shutgun…fuck, you name it. It’s got 2 sequels, and is just too fucking awesome for words. In most games, you win the chick, and it’s game over. In this one, your bitch becomes a monster so you whoop the shit out of her too! We need more of that. Mario needs to leap over Kuppa, drop him in lava, then piledrive the Princess. Fuck yeah.

ZombiesLogo-crop#3 – Zombies Ate My Neighbors

I was going to put this bad bitch at number 2, but had to place it at 3 due to lack of sequels. This is one of the funnest games I’ve ever played. It ain’t one of those bitch titles that gives you a shit ton of story, lots of cut scenes, with only 5 levels. Hell no. You get 55-zombie-cornhole-busting levels of awesomeness. You kick the shit out of everything from aliens, to Jason’s, zombies, spiders, all types of bad-ass things. It had some fo the best video game music I can remember, as well as 2-player capability. Few peeps seem to remember this game like I do, because few people are as smart as me.

zombiesscreenYou bust some zombies with your squirt gun, save some stupid-asses, and drop an elbow on the attempted apocalypse.

CastlevaniaLogo2#2 – Castlevania

It’s Castle-fucking-vania. Do I really need to give you the low-down? With the exception of Simon’s Quest, and that abortion of a 3D attempt, CV has done nothing but bust your balls with awesomeness. From 1-3 on the NES, to Super IV on the SNES, and Symphony of the Night on PS. You got all sorts of avenues getting into arm-wrestling matches with the undead. Ah, man. How rad would it be if Over The Top had vampires? Stallone would say some shit like “fuck the fork, put a stake in’em, he’s done” after winning a bout. Regardless, Castlevania is fucking lawless….

ResidentEvilLogo2#1 – Resident Evil

Fuck the number one best horror game of all time, we’re talking the best FLAT-OUT video game EVER. You had an awesome, awesome story, great characters, hammy voice acting, and a very scary and legitimate landscape. There was a point in this game that scared me so bad I flew backwards outta my chair and knocked down the person behind me. I did it with such force we traveled back in time and I ended up having to get my parents to kiss. But I digress.
I cried when first beat the game, because I got the scenario where Barry died. And he was so burly, it just tugged at my man-heart strings. You had multiple endings, hidden costumes, and guns, and an assload of replay value. And although the following sequels may have been better than the original, it was the first and had the biggest impact on me and the gaming world. But much boner-getting is attributed to #2, #3, Code Veronica, #0, and of course #4.
Game Cube also did a bad-ass remake. It’s unbeliveable how great they made it. Improved story, levels, sound and graphics. To this day I still think it’s the best looking game of all time. Here’s a little sample of how much they stepped this bad boy up .

REOResident Evil  on the Playstaion

REMakeResident Evil aka REMake on GameCube

When I first saw that, I got a boner so fast that I passed out for 6 days. It was the best.

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~ by Caliber Winfield on November 3, 2009.

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