Top 5 Wrestling Video Games
Oh, since the dawn of man, we’ve wanted to emulate those we saw in the Arena of Gladiators, or in the rings of WWE.
After breaking a lot of our own bones, we thought, there has to be a better way! Not really, we enjoy doing dumb shit like rocking the Macho Elbow drop off the sofa onto a prone brother. But, we can’t always harm each other, so, we needed to take it to the video games! Our first run of NES wrestling games fucking sucked. Well, at least the WWE ones. Everyone was the same size, you had things like wrenches, bells, and such flying out of no where and hitting you, it was horrible. That is, until NES released it’s own wrestling game, in the form of NES Pro-Wrestling! Hells. To. The. Yes.
This game was the basic of the basic, but that’s what made it great. You had your suplexes, bodyslams, head-bites, splashes, and out of the ring brawling. It was so much fun, I’d still spend hours playing it back in the year 1999, and I had shit like WCW vs. nWo – Revenge to play, so that should tell you. You had the bomb-cast; The Amazon, a missing-link esq creature who’d rock shit and eat the brains of people. Starman, who was your white-bread hero. Fighter Hayabusa, he was the evil foreigner. Probably a Commie, so it’s best he got a real American smashing. King Korn Karn, your awesome stereotype. He wanna wrest-o, preeze. Giant Panther, I believe he was to be the Ric Flair clone. Which doesn’t really work, because I believe a Panther is capable of saving one dollar. King Slender, fought for truth, justice, and uh, being thin. Great Puma is the World Champ, and, as expected, he’ll punch your face so hard it’ll gut you. Dig it.
Now, usually in every case if there’s two of the same game for SEGA and SNES, the SNES version will beat it out, hands down. However, in this case, it just didn’t happen. For some odd reason, the SNES version didn’t have any finishing moves. Which was fucking balls-out lame. What’s the point of being The Immortal One, or the idiot from Parts Unknown, if you can’t rock the LegDrop of Death, or the Flying Clothesline from Parts Unknown? This game started a trend for games that would continue for a couple years, in which the players would grapple, and depending on which button you mashed, and whomever mashed it the most, got the move. So, if you hit A a bunch your guy would rock the suplex. From what I remember, there were no entrances. This was a fast improvement on anything the NES produced that was WWE related. I was so excited when I first got this game, I faked sick to spend the day home and get my LegDrop on.
I use to play this game so much I had to wear band-aids on my thumbs because of the huge fucking blisters I’d get. At this point in time of my life, with exception to Mortal Kombat II, there was no better way to spend my time. You had an awesome roster, theme music, special moves, uber-secret moves, and a ton of match styles. Tag-teams, tornado tag-teams, Royal Rumbles. Guys would do run-ins, you could go out of the ring and use weapons such as a chair, and a bucket. You could whoop the shit out of a guy so bad the fucking ref would quit. Man, I could go on and on about this for days.
Royal Rumble, was basically the same. You just had a different roster, and no uber-hidden moves. Also, when you won the tournoment mode, The Fink would come into the ring and hand you the belt. Sure, it’s a small difference, but shit like that made a big deal to me. It was also the first to introduce the Royal Rumble battle mode, which rocked the fucking house.
Man, oh man. Sure, I should have put WCW vs. The World or WCW vs. nWo, as they came first and really pioneered the whole THQ style of games, but Revenge was the zenith at the time. I mean, just watch that video right there. That was just the beginning, baby. You had entrances, tons and tons of wrestlers, cool battle modes, incredible game play, and anything you could fucking want. I use to love being DDP, because you had 3 variations of the Diamond Cutter. Either the standard, whipping someone off the rope and throwing them in the air, or setting them on the turnbuckle. You could change costumes if you wanted, win all sorts of belts, it was just a great time to be a wrestling fan. We all thought it couldn’t get better, until….
If you were a wrestling fan who played video games, then this should come as no shock. There will NEVER be a better wrestling game. This gave you everything you could ever want. You could create your own style of wrestler, or create one who wasn’t in the game. You could brawl out side, send people into the back, put motherfuckers through tables, jump off ladders. You had a million types of matches; first blood, ladder, 2/3, tornado, royal rumble, steel cage…it was endless. You had incredible entrances, incredible gameplay, it was stunning. You could wrestle and put the title on the line. You could execute double-tag-team moves such as the 3D. You had tournament mode, which had a ton of different paths. A store to buy things. Fuck, it was endless. The Smackdown titles would come out around the same time, and the sucked. You could throw someone off the top of a Hell in a Cell, and they’d pop up like I farted on them or something. So the only way I could release my pent up rage was to piledrive a guy onto his own groin. Don’t ask how that works, it just did.
So, there we have it. An awesome trip down the high-way of wrasslin’ video games. I wasn’t old enough to play the arcade versions of Wrestlemania Challenge, or the other one, but I heard they owned. I also heard a lot of great things about FirePro Wrestling, but I’ve never played that either. That’s why they aren’t on the lists.
Did you guys ever play Wrestlemania The Arcade Game? Akklaim made those, the same guys who made Mortal Kombat. So, you’d have crap like Undertaker’s Phantom Fire Ball, or Yokozuna dropping chickens. They sucked such shit. The sequel In Your House was no better. I shudder at the thought of them. The new Raw vs Smackdown games aren’t too bad, but I just miss the old control system. If they’d just implement that system again, we could get the fucking ball rolling again. Dig it.