Top 5 Scariest Movies
Unless you’ve been in a cave on Mars, with your fingers in your ears, you’ve heard about Paranormal Activity.
The horror/thriller that’s basically a budding director’s wet-dream. Filmed for a cool $15,000, over the period of 7 days. It managed to make it’s money back, but just barely. Standing around over $100 million dollars. Through word-of-mouth alone this bad-boy became a juggernaut. Matter of fact, if you watch the end of the DVD, they list every member of the fan club that helped to get it going. Needless to say, there’s a lot of f”ning names.
It’s been called the scariest movie of all time, the most un-nerving horror movie to ever be committed to celluloid. Does it deserve that title?
No, it doesn’t. I watched it last night. It’s quite good, very good in fact. However, I didn’t get a boner that was reminiscent of a steel rod wrapped in silk like most people do. It was damned scary, I will give you that. But it’s nothing I plan on buying.
So, if I don’t think it’s the scariest of all time, how’s say we rock the Top 5 Scariest Movies of All Time, ay? You kids lemme know what you think. Oh, and don’t give me that shit about how movies don’t scare you, that’s a load of BS. I hate guys who say that crap like they’re really impressing me, like I’m gonna run out and try to find a hot chick to bring back to him for him to bang because he’s now my new God because he watched Jaws then right after went swimming in the ocean at night after cutting his wrist. God, I hate people.
Let’s get down to business, kids….
5 – The Grudge 
While I was watching this movie, it was broad-daylight, mid-afternoon. I was in the room with two of my friends, grown men, and I screamed out loud twice. I mean, terrorized screams. The one moment I recall the most, is when the girl is lying in bed, and the ghost starts to mob up from the bottom. That shit scared the hell out of me. I knew it was coming, and still screamed like hell. The way those ghosts moved, the creepy voices, everything about this was unsettling. I haven’t seen the original, but this one did it’s damned job.
4 – Scream 
7th grade, I came home. Parents had rented Scream, and with me being a super bad-assed horror fan, couldn’t wait to watch it. It was around 10pm, at about, oh, 10:07pm I had to take the tape out. It was too goddamn scary. The beginning to this movie is legendary, hands down one of the most creative and scary moments ever committed to celluloid. It’s my all time favorite horror movie, and shit still scares me, son. This wasn’t the first time a phone was used by the antagonist in a horror film, 1979’s When a Stranger Calls obviously had some influence, with Scream taking the idea and running with it. It’s also landmark for taking something simple, like a cheap, crappy Halloween mask and making it one of the scariest icons in movie history.
3 – The Blair Witch Project 
Sure, The Last Broadcast may have been the first of it’s kind in the whole ‘real-horror’ type style of filming, but Blair Witch brought it to the main stream, in a big, big way. Not since Texas Chainsaw had a movie been brought to the masses and sold as ‘these events happened’. They had campaign on TV, as well as the internet. It was brilliant. I had friends who were bootleggers, so I got a copy about a month before the movie hit theaters. So, to me, it was still real dammit. No one had any idea that this was just a movie, so as far as I saw, this was some super scary shit. From the attacking of the tent, to the tongue showing up wrapped in a t-shirt, and the ending in the house, it was all so well done. Everything about this fucking movie was scary. Watching it broad-day, with a ton of people, isn’t exactly the type of environment for it. When I saw it, I watched it alone at 2am. How I managed, I’m not sure, because I am a wiener when it comes to that shit. So, people need to watch this shit alone. Keep it real.
2 – The Decent 
Before we begin, if you’ll notice that skull right there, made out of chickies, is also the skull you find on the butterfly of the Silence of the Lambs poster, based off an artist named Phillipe Halsman. Pretty cool design, and a lot of folk don’t realize that it actually is made up of people.
This movie could have no violence, or creatures, and would still rank high on my list. As a person who’s a pinch claustrophobic, the second those caves started collapsing, I puked all over the person next to me. To be honest, that was my original plan of action, but this made it all flow that much more smoothly. Being stuck so deep in unexplored caves is bad enough, add some gnarly creatures that dig eating flesh and you’ve got The Kardashians. Joke of the year? I believe it to be.
This movie contains classic elements of suspense, along with modern-day slasher monster movies. It’s one of those how-did-we-not-think-of-this type cases, much like Predator, where it’s so simple yet no one seemed to think of it before hand. I haven’t seen the sequel, but I’m hoping it’s just as crunk as the original.
1 – The Strangers 
Most horror/scary movies have their moments where you’re feeling dread, but this entire fucking movie had me feeling like this the whole time. It was so, so well done. The creepy music, the camera work, the script, it was all so well done. There are plenty of moments in movies where we think “Why the fuck aren’t they doing this/that?”. But this movie, actually does that. With the two people sitting in a corner with a gun, that’s just smart thinking. Who wouldn’t do that? The only part that had me going ‘what the fuck?’ is when the friend comes in and just walks around not saying anything. Why on Earth would you not start yelling for people? Other than that, just beautiful work. Also, the fact that there’s no motive, just makes it that much worse. Plus, they get away. It’s just a great film that everyone needs to see.
There we have it kids. If I did a Top 10, I’d probably include Paranormal Activity some where in there. Because it is a well done movie. Now, I’m just as pissed as you are that Halloween isn’t on the list. Honestly, on any given day Halloween could shoot up as far as number 2. It’s an incredible movie that set the standards and built the blueprint for all else to come. But right now, it’s hanging at number 6.
Also, honorable mentions to 28 Days Later, Jaws & Jeeper Creepers. The ladder of which has one of the coolest, and scariest beginnings of all time.