The Only Reviews of Jennifer’s Body & The Hangover That You’ll Ever Need

A lot of times something will catch fire, with rave reviews coming from all angels, people talking about it left and right, and posters, trailers,  and newspapers every where you look.

Damn near 100% of the time whatever is being championed sucks a steel rod wrapped in silk. Because people are idiots,  whatever it is they’re shouting about has made sure to facilitate to their every asinine whim, super crappy things get pushed to the fucking moon.

But with The Hangover, all the jibber-jabber was spot on. Intelligent, clever, and just spot fucking on.

I mean, to be honest I’m surprised that it was such a hit. Because it’s a really funny movie, and in order for something to be really funny, it has to be smart. Most Americans, are not smart. So, I’m shocked they’re actually getting the jokes. These are the same people that made Meet the Spartans the number one movie in the country. But, I’ll save that obvious jag for another day.

In a plot that’s been done, but not on such a large level and is sure to be done to death now, that sees us at the finishing line, and getting to go back and see how we got there. It was great because we wake up with all these ridiculous scenarios, that really have you racking your brain to think about how the fuck this or that has happened.

They probably could have just left it at that and been fine, but they went a step further and added the element of losing the groom-to-be. Good times.

In a world where all I fucking see is crap like Disaster Movie, or something with Larry The Cable Guy trying to pass as comedy, it’s refreshing to know that not all movie writers are fucking morons. Especially since my once comedic-hero, Will Ferrell hasn’t made a good movie in quite a while. Speaking of disappointments, I thought Broken Lizard were going to be able to pick up where the Farrelly Brothers left off. However, that was not to be. Sure, Super Troopers is one of the all time greats, but goddamn have they sucked the boner since. Anyways…

It’s one of the better movies I’ve actually seen in my life time. So, turn off Two & A Half Men and watch REAL comedy. Ed Helms deserves every second of his fame.

Ever since I saw the movie previews for this one, I was interested. Diablo Cody writes, and as we all know she was behind Juno, another great movie. So, great writer, horror, I’m there. The only real bump in the road for me was the inclusion of Megan Fox. I cannot stand the bitch. However, playing an apathetic, flesh hungry demon is probably the only role she can actually handle.

In case you are not aware of the plot, it goes a little something like this;

Megan Fox plays the popular slut at school. The really dumb chick from Mean Girls plays her best friend. One night they hit a concert to see a band named Low Shoulder. Well, the band is sick of playing bars, so they decide to sacrifice a virgin to Satan in order for fame and fortune. Welp, she lies and says she’s a virgin, and things go way-word as she ends up getting possessed by a demon. I know, Casablanca basically had the same plot.

Well, I wasn’t expecting the first Nightmare on Elm Street, or Scream here, so I wasn’t let down.

It’s an interesting enough movie with a hint of gore, and far more suggestion. Which at times, is nice. The use of shadows, screams, and quick cuts makes for the mind to draw it’s own conclusions and scenes of the demon’s handy work, which I think is a lost art in most horror.

It’s nothing amazing by any means, but I think it’s worth a look. I’d say rent it, or catch OnDemand. Only worth a buy if you can catch it at Wal-Mart or amazon for $5.


~ by Caliber Winfield on January 10, 2010.

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