The Only Reviews Of Saw VI, & Terminator: Salvation That You’ll Ever Need

What’s the good word today, kids? Drinkin? Smokin? Str8 west coastin? Good, good.

I’ve been doing a good portion of movie watching as of late, and I know you kids won’t watch new flicks unless you get the green light from me. So, let’s dig into it. Shall we?

In the mid-80’s, every successful horror franchise was churning out movies like a motherfucker. I was born in ’83, so I missed seeing all that shit as it was happening. Never got to go to the theaters or anything awesome possum like that.

But then Saw came around, and now once a year we get a new movie. It’s been years since we’ve had a studio go balls out and just pump out sequel after sequel.

After the 3rd, I felt the sequels were getting worse and worse. I mean, 4 wasn’t horrible, it just paled in comparison to the original trilogy. Then 5 was worse than that. 6 however, is a nice return to form. I don’t think it measures up to any of the first three, but it’s a great little movie.

The things that make Saw, Saw, are two things. Traps. Plot twists. This movie had great traps, and you got to see some people truly get what they deserve. They answered some questions that went back as far as part 3, and as recent as 5 and 6.

One of the things you can always count from the Saw series, is for them to KISS. Keep It Simple Stupid. They don’t try any deep mind fucks, or any hardcore lessons, it’s just like; hey if you’re wasting your life you’re going to be put in a trap where you need to cut off your left testicle/breast in order to prevent you having to catch a to scale replica of Stone Henge with your face. Which, would be rad.

There’s no real reason for me to describe the plot, because if you have interest in Saw 6, you probably know the name of the game by now. It’s some good horror that isn’t going to change your life, or warrant a purchase unless you’re a compulsive collector like myself.

– 3.25 out of 5 – For awesome gore, traps, and a great build up of suspense.

Except for number 2, The Terminator movies should almost be a religion or something, they’re that damn good.

When Rise of The Machines [you know, the film that is FAR superior to Judgment Day. No sarcasm] came out, a lot of people assumed that this would be the plot. My guess is they just weren’t ready to pull that trigger, plus, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, and I could watch Arnold as the Terminator till my eyes bled. Any other male out there reading this that thinks other wise needs to remember they have a mani-pedi today at noon.

We get Christian Bale as Connor, as he leads the revolution against Skynet. I gotta say, for a sci-fi action movie, this one is really goddamn good. It’s not revolutionary or blow-your-mind good like the first one was. But it’s a great way to spend 2 hours. With awesome story, acting, and action, much like it’s predecessor, T3.  I was stoked to see that it wasn’t an orgy of CGI. It was an easy mix of that, and models, at least, for as much as I could tell. It’s a gorgeous movie, despite it’s bleek and dreary settings.

The Terminators look scary as hell. I was happy to see they weren’t using the T-6 or T-800’s. Because the endo-skeleton is one ominous motherfucker, like the worst cock-block you’ve ever had. Like, you just put the tip in and your buddy comes in all drunk and pukes over the both you, and the prude bitch seems to have a problem with it and it’s game over.

It’s awesome to see Arnold as a Terminator again. They did a great job making him look just like he did in the first one. It’s also nice to see little homages to the first, such as the GNR track You Could Be Mine, the photo of Sarah Connor as well as the tapes she was making in the first one.

My only real gripe is the same with T3, it’s been long enough, why couldn’t they just use Furlong again? It’s been 20 years since T2, the time-line works.

As I stated, it’s nothing land mark, but if you’re a Terminator fan, you’re going to dig it. It isn’t as good as T1 or T3, but it’s a lot more fun than that over hyped kids movie, Terminator 2. So, I do say, check it out.

– 3.75 Out of 5 – For shoot outs, chases, and of course, cyborgs.

~ by Caliber Winfield on March 5, 2010.

2 Responses to “The Only Reviews Of Saw VI, & Terminator: Salvation That You’ll Ever Need”

  1. Am I hearing what I’m hearing about T2?

    I will agree that T3 was a completely badass movie with a balls-out ending that I wished the new movie would’ve followed.

    Furlong would’ve been great for 4, but I guess having Bale made it more legitimate. Otherwise we might’ve been looking at a straight-to-video release. Hopefully they can carry the star power over into another movie or two.

  2. I thought Salvation was poor. The fucking helicopter flew straight over the damn explosion. Why the fuck did the machines set such a shitty trap for John Connor? Why not just have like twenty or thirty big motherfuckers with guns to shoot him at once?

    I enjoyed it at the time, but the movie felt dumb, like it was made by Michael Bay. The Terminator (clearly the finest in the series) was a film for adults. This was for kids. Thumbs down from me.

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