An old school Caliber rant – The BIGGEST secret about women
I found this rant in my archives, and it’s always been one of my favorites, and thought it’d make a nice piece of brevity during Ninja Month. So, dig in, and learn the biggest secret about women…
OK, guys. Well, guys and girls, listen up, cause here it is. As you all know, I contain the knowledge of the old man who sits on top a super high mountain and has a bomb-ass white mustache, and just says really inspired shit. Because, when you sit up on a high mountain the oxygen gets all sort of thin, and gets you super fucking high. Plus, when you sit up on a mountain, it’s like being a white male, ages 21-dead, motherfuckers believe anything you say.
So, with this editorial, I’ll divulge the biggest secret in the history of the world. The very secret that has always been right in front of everyone’s face, yet they never realized it. The very secret girls will want to have me killed for revealing, and it’s this;
GIRLS WANT SEX JUST AS MUCH AS MEN DO. NO, WAIT, THEY WANT IT EVEN MORE THAN US. TRUTH
You see, girls love sex. They’re always horny, and are always down for sex. However, they’ll never admit to this, why?
Because it’s their ONLY power in this whole world, and it’s a massively strong power. It’s destroyed friendships, worlds, cities, lives, and basically
anything you can think of. So, hell, if you had this power, would you want it given away? Hell no. But I refuse to sit by as it goes on any further, so it must be stopped.
Check it. If girls were openly admitting they wanted to get laid as often as men, that’s all that’d be going on. Then women wouldn’t have anything
to hold over our heads. They would no longer get free drinks, they’d have to start paying their own way on dates. They wouldn’t get a bunch of free shit
and have guys fight over them.
They’d have to *GASP* get a real job! And actually work for something. Not just work at an espresso stand 5 hours a week and rely on all these stupid guys they have vying for her attention to buy her shit. They would have to pay attention in school, and be smart. So that way they could obtain things, instead of just flashing their tits and flirting in hopes that everything will get done for them. They’d have to go to fucking COLLEGE, and get degrees! Oh Dear Lord, no! They’d have to rely on their smarts, wit, creativity, and ability to actually do shit in life, and not their ass. Because no longer could they just float through life, getting plastic surgery as gravity pulls them apart like a Stretch Armstrong [thanks, Bud], in hopes that they can just marry rich. They’d have to do everything for themselves, and be equal in life, just like they say they want, but really don’t. The life span of a man and woman would finally be equal, cuz they’d have to actually do things in life, instead of sitting around, and promising sex twice a week in exchange for someone doing all the work in life for them.
I mean, c’mon. Do you really think girls don’t like sex? Their orgasms are more powerful then men’s, and they can have a bunch of them in one session, so why the hell wouldn’t they like it? I mean, girls act like they’re doing us such a HUGE favor if they let us fuck them at the end of a date. I mean, look at it;
on a date, they get free food, free movie, free car ride, free whateverelse is on the date, and THEN, THEN they get sex if they feel like it. Most of the time
they don’t, because they wanna see what else they can milk out of guys.
Women would have to devlop a personality, and be able to attract a man with more than just a big ass. They’d have to be worth talking to, and interesting, otherwise they’d never have a fucking relationship and be left alone and stupid for the rest of their lives just like they deserve.
So, you see. They’ll never admit it. Even though I just blew the fucking lid off the matter, and they can’t deny it, they will. Nothing will change, unless, you …yes YOU take a stand! Stop letting these obnoxious, dumb, hair-in-a-bottle bitches run the world! No more!
OK, now that I’ve let you guys in on the secret, you need some cool music to rock out too, so check myspace.com/scrublifemusic for the hot tunes, and then scrublife.com if you want more.
This is your boy, C-Dub, Caliber Winfield, signing off…..keep your pecker in your pants, and make the fucking bitch beg for it.