The Only Review of The Karate Kid Part II That You’ll Ever Need

The Karate Kid part II
June 20th, 1986

Before we get started, I just want to say…

We all know that John Kreese says “sweep the leg” in the first one, however, doesn’t anyone else besides myself think he says “sweep the lick”? I watched the movie again the other day, and it sounds EXACTLY like “sweep the lick”. I have no idea how people figured he said “leg”, because I always thought it was lick, and Johnny just knew what was up.

Anyways, Part 1 is a 10/10, and Part 2 is a 9.9/10. It’s an amazing sequel that’s just about as good as the first one, but obviously just cannot be.

I love that it takes place in Okinawa, and we get to deal with Miyagi’s problems this time. The stakes are raised higher in this one, as it’s no longer about a point system, it’s life or death. I love that he goes for the Crane Kick and Chozen just throws that shit to the side. It was a nice way of distancing itself even further from the first.

One more thing before we get down to business, I have to talk about the opening. A true classic in every sense of the way. Super Burly Man, John Kreese, is displeased when his star pupil, Johnny Lawrence, has taken 2nd placed. So, Kreese curses him out, breaks his trophy, then chokes him out. What? Isn’t that you’re suppose to do? My children will know what it is to be put in a sleeper before they know what it is to be hugged.

So, Miyagi comes on over and breaks up the choking. Kreese goes for a punch and Miyagi does the two-foot to the right as Kreese’s fist goes plowing through a car window. Obviously of course, he meant to do that. To prove so, he does it again. Miyagi then takes him to his knees and is about to do some killing, but instead honks his nose. It was some awesome shit that helped seal Karate Kid’s place in awesomeness for all time. Oh, then Daniel asks why Mr. Miyagi didn’t just kill him. Sure, why not just murder a guy outside in front of hundreds of people? As we’ve seen through out the course of the first movie, Miyagi is the type to kill….on with the show!

The Bully:


OK, Johnny may be the greatest bully of all time, but Chozen is a much meaner, more brutal bad-ass. He has a really awesome mind set.

Let’s say he robs you, right. You then go to the police and he gets arrested. Well, now that that’s happened, he’s been dishonored. Who’s fault is this?

A) His
B) Yours
C) A jump kick to your thorax before you even get a chance to consider the options

I love that. When it comes to Chozen, just know that it’s always gonna be your fault. No matter what. It’s a philosophy that I need to adapt, to be honest.

He walks around, calls everyone a coward, steals and cheats people out of shit, and calls everyone a coward. Always. At the end of the movie, the village is at peace, and they’re having a grand ol’ time. Well, Chozen, being a man, realizes that something is missing.

What’s the number one thing that’s ALWAYS missing from a party?

A fight to the death! I get so pissed when I get invited to a box social, only to find there’s no fight to the death. People are such shitty hosts.

Daniel’s little girly girl tries to stop Chozen, so she gets her ass kicked too. She shouldn’t have done what she did. But, to be honest, she probably would have got her ass kicked regardless. You don’t want to be hit, don’t be born a girl.

Evil Sensi:


Sato, use to be Mr. Miyagi’s best friend growing up. They were both taught Karate by Miyagi’s father. Well, at 18, there was a marriage to be arranged for Sato. Miyagi and the girl who was to marry Sato fell in love, and well, our boy was pretty pissed about that. So, as it should be, he challenged Mr. M to a fight to the death. Miyagi wasn’t digging it, and left for America.

So, now that Miyagi is back to see to his dying father, Sato says it’s time for round 2, man. Round motherfucking 2.

Sato is awesome because he won’t let go of a 40 year old grudge. Not just that, he never stops screaming about it. He’s got a big, ol’ deep voice and he’s constantly yelling at people. Well, by people I mean Mr. Miyagi. All he ever says is a variation of the following statements;

“lower than dog!”
“whole village see!”

He’s such a stone cold bad-ass, that when they’re both sitting next to Miyagi’s dying father, after he dies I was half expecting Sato to just chop the dude in half then bust out a triple spin kick like Ryu’s in Street Fighter II.

Then, when the hurricane happens and he’s trapped beneath a large beam, and certainly going to die, Miyagi comes to help. Of course, Sato, being a manly man, and bat-shit crazy, is sure that Miyagi is now here to fight. So he just starts screaming his ass off again. Well, once he realizes the deal, then the grudge is over, and all is well.

Except he’s disowned his nephew, Chozen, because he wouldn’t go out and help Daniel. Who shouldn’t have had to help in the first place. I mean, when they were assigning village jobs, who the hell thought it was a bright idea to have the 5 year old girl ring the hurricane bell? Does that make any sense to anyone? Who got the job as Sheriff? The autistic kid?

Of course Sato is not nearly the bad-ass that Kreese is, but he’s got his own way, and it’s awesome.

Romantic Interest:


As we all learned, Ali left Daniel for a football player from Notre’ Dame. Plus she wrecked his car. Bitch.

Well, when he touches down in Okinawa he just about immediately finds himself a chick. I dunno how, but the dude scores babes whenever he goes.

Kumiko isn’t bad. She’s very soft spoken, has a beautiful face, and is all about dancing.

She can’t hold a candle to Ali, as far as I’m concerned, but I’m sure there are many who’d disagree with me. Of course, that means they’re wrong, but they can go ahead and have their opinion all they want, so long as they know it’s worthless.

This is how she looks now. Man, Bone Dance, more like BONER Dance. Ha Ha!

Secret Move That Daniel Uses To Win Fight:

The Drum Technique

An interesting move, I suppose. Works as a defensive maneuver as well as an offensive one. If you’ve ever seen one of those hand drums, that’s the technique, twisting your body back and forth with your arms up like you’re in a defense stance. He really beats the hell out of Chozen in the end, and, much like Miyagi, he gives the honk. Except, it’s on the dude’s wiener. Ruthless, man, just ruthless.

Apparently, the Drum Technique is only to be used as a last resort. Why this is, I’m not sure. But if the small Asian man says it, it has to be true, baby. Also, I own one of those hand drums, and unless you’re the only using it, it’s super fucking annoying.

Awesome Song From The Movie:

Peter Cetera – Glory of Love

Whether it’s this version, or New Found Glory’s, it’s an awesome song. Perfect 80’s pop-crap. It works really well with this movie, as most of it is a bit dark, and often gray, and this song is really light, and elegant, mixes so damn well.

Caliber’s Favorite Moments:
Much like the first, this one has a ton. One that sticks out, and one that’s pretty well known amongst the people is the ice breaking.

Pussies use ice trays, it’s just that simple. This was just a cool, simple scene that had Daniel one upping Sato & Chozen, and once again showing that Miyagi has all the answers, baby.

The end fight scene is really well done, I think. In a world with crazy, over the top fight scenes it’s refreshing to have a realistic, well choreographed fight like this. Plus, Chozen looked like a real bad ass in his outfit.


The shower scene, and confrontation with Kreese were all filmed for the first one. But I guess they felt enough happened, and it’d make for an interesting beginning. I’d say good call.

All in all, a fantastic sequel that lives up to the original. Coming this weekend, Part III. Again, another awesome entry, even if it tends to fall a bit short.


~ by Caliber Winfield on June 8, 2010.

One Response to “The Only Review of The Karate Kid Part II That You’ll Ever Need”

  1. bone dance for an asian girl. i sense yellow fevah

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