Minute Man Reviews

Waddup, kids? I watch an S ton of movies, that is no secret. Usually the movie will warrant a full blown review. Where I make you laugh, cry, involve a little nipple play, and force you to drop kick your neighbor so hard it’ll make is car start.  But some times I watch a lot in a short period, and feel it’d just be better off if I give it to you all hard, short, and fast. That’s how the women like it, at least, that’s what I’ve forced myself to believe.  So, let’s get busy, baby.

 

Dinner for Schmucks
July 30th, 2010

Paul Rudd is the new Ben Stiller, I think. He basically plays the same guy in every movie, and the relationship he’s in, in the movie, is always the same. But, like Stiller, doesn’t really matter because the movies are funny. Dinner For Schmucks, is no exception.

It’s a pretty simple premise, and a story done a million times over. A guy trying to get ahead in life befriends someone who’s sweet, yet a complete clutz who just wrecks shit left and right.

The movie is pretty good. It doesn’t have a million laughs, but it has quite a few. It doesn’t slouch when it isn’t laugh out loud funny, it’s still very entertaining. The main characters are likeable, and the supporting cast are all very original, and given to you in small doses, just as it should be.

Carell is great, and will really hit his peak once he’s done with The Office, and get’s a chance to do movie after movie. So, yes, I do recommend this bad boy.

 

The Other Guys
March 31st, 2010

Talladega Nights, Blades of Glory, Semi-Pro. All movie titles to most, but to me, they’re just punches to the groin of the funny bone. To me, Will Ferrell was true comic genius, and easily the funniest actor of all time. Things like Anchorman and Old School were unbelievable in their execution. But then he just started dropping sacks of crap. I thought my main man was dead, until Step Brothers brought him back, Easter style. Is The Other Guys another step in greatness, or a shotgun blast to the groin of the funniness?

It’s a step, motherfucker.

I was pretty surprised to see Mark Wahlberg co-starring. As he doesn’t really do comedy, and strikes me as the type of guy who wants to be taken seriously all the time. So, it’s cool he’s dropped all that shit in favor of some laughs.

The opening is awesome, as it completely mocks the over-the-top cop action movies and TV shows we’ve seen as of late. The Rock & Samuel L. Jackson are total bad-ass, and force you to wish they were around more.

It’s a well done comedy that’s very entertaining, with excellent choices for the actors used as supporting. Micheal Keaton, I’m looking at you, Batman.

The Other Guys is a fine way to spend 90 minutes. If you watch it, and disagree with me, just know that you’re wrong, and tell people you like it anyways, because you don’t want them mocking you so hard you kill yourself. Because you will. People who disagree with me end up dead. It’s just a fact.

 

Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
August 13, 2010

Now this, THIS is a comic book movie, in the truest sense of the word. It’s like they took panels from the book, and brought them to the screen, note for note.

This is one of the most entertaining movies I’ve ever seen in my life. The fight scenes are fantastic, and done so well that there’s no way they won’t influence future movies to come.

The music is excellent, and I tend to hate that Indy crap. The use of old school video game music and themes are just balls out fucking awesome, that’s the only way to describe it. So well done, such an incredibly original style that it’s going to be photocopied for years and years to come, no doubt about that, it bares repeating.

The whole love triangle aspect of the film is great too. Usually in a film with competeing love or whatever, there’s one that’s usually a bitch of some sorts, or an asshole, but not this one. Both women are great, and you’d be fine with either one. Me, personally, I’d choose Knives. She’s hotter, sweeter, and you don’t have to fight a bunch of motherfuckers.

Sans The Expendables, Scott Pilgrim is probably the best movie of 2010. This is something worth buying. Dig that.

 

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
September 24th, 2010

I love movies like this. The original Wall Street, & Boiler Room are incredible movies. Oliver Stone created Wall Street back in the 80’s to match the incredible decadence that was enveloping the entire decade. As with everything, that eventually popped, and here we are.

20 years later, it’s time again for another Wall Street. The greed of American’s has caused us to go into one of the worst recessions in a really long fucking time. Billion dollar bailouts, pussy-assed, selfish, and greedy Americans standing there with their hands out, begging the government for more money because they fucked up. But, when the small man’s business goes under because of shit like Wal-Mart, where’s the bail out? Then we just call it the better business winning.

So, obviously, it was time for a new Wall Street.

Picking up 20 years after the original, Gecko is out, and on the move in the literary world. His daughter is currently engaged to a Wall Street type, who although digs money, won’t let it possess him.

The story is a lot deeper than what you see in the previews, and damn well done.

Michael Douglas is incredible, as usual, and it’s great to see Gecko back. Shia, as usual, brings it home. My only complaint, was the choice for Gecko’s daughter. People kept talking about how hot she is, in the movie, but she was only a serious 4 or 5, not much at all. They could have chosen some one a lot better. I just didn’t really buy her, that’s all.

Bottom line, another great movie. It can get a little deep with all the financial talk that I have no idea about, but it doesn’t hamper the movie. Worth seeing, and you don’t necessarily have to see the first one before you see this, but, it helps.

 

Oh, and has a bonus, I’ll give you a quick review of Machete. Don’t see it. It fucking sucks. It’s long winded, boring, the plot is repetitive and stupid. Rodriguez has been hitting them out of the park as of late, but he bombed on this one. Not worth it.

Alrighty, kids, that about wraps it up. You’re welcome for all the free advice, and may thank me with steaks, pumpkin pies, and arm wrestling contests.

 

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~ by Caliber Winfield on January 10, 2011.

2 Responses to “Minute Man Reviews”

  1. How could you not enjoy Machete?

    • How could you enjoy it?

      OK, so Machete is almost killed in the beginning, and we think that’ll be the plot, but nope. He takes revenge by being a menial worker. Woah.

      Then, we get the most rehashed, boring plots ever with the whole ‘hire me to kill someone then double cross them’. We saw that in Shooter, we saw that in Fletch, we’ve seen it to death.

      It was just too over the top and boring. I mean, what was with Lindsey Lohan’s part and her father? That was just odd. Why the nun outift? Why were the Mexican’s cool with DeNiro? His shit was all over the place.

      I just felt it wasn’t enjoyable.

      Desperado. Dusk Till Dawn. Planet Terror. Predators. Sure, Robert has a ton of AWESOME movies, but this sucked.

      Glad to see Seagal getting respect though.

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