Ranking of the Saws – #’s 1-3

Let’s do this bieitch…

Alrighty, kids, as it were last time, we’d got as far as seeing where 4, 5, 6 and 7 landed. Today? Well, today, if you dare take my hand and venture on…

#3 – Saw III
Date: October 27th, 2006
Tag-Line: Legends Never Die

I saw this bad boy at the midnight release, and it was great.

Watching all of these, when you go back to the original trilogy you see just how much better Jigsaw makes things. Having him be the central focus of the movie makes the whole thing work. He’s an interesting character whom you want to see and hear more of.

Saw 3 brought a new dynamic to the film, with a whole new way of doing things and really making it interesting. With Saw one, we’d see different people having to deal with their traps. The sequel was about a group of people having to endure it, and work together. This one just has one man going through a maze, having to risk his own safety to save people whom he’d wished dead. It’s a brilliant take.

Another aspect of the film that makes the trilogy stand out, is that the traps haven’t become too outlandish. With the exception of the Iron Cross, everything else is very believable and well done. It’s perfectly resonable to believe that one man could build and execute these things. As opposed to ones later in the series where we’ve got a trap that looks like it’d take a team of wrestlers and a crane to assemble, and Will Hunting to draw up and create.

With incredible cringe-worthy moments, a story that rivals the first in quality, fantastic traps and their following effects, Saw III is not only one of the best in the series, but one of the best horror movies you’re likely to see.

Best-Trap: The Iron Cross. Without a doubt the most brutal, and sickest trap in Saw history. I can’t imagine the pain of having your legs, arms, and neck slowly twisted. Feeling your flesh rip and your bones break. Slowly.

#2 – Saw
Date: October 29th, 2004
Tag-Line: How Much Blood Will You Shed To Stay Alive?

Yeah, I’m sure I’ll catch a lot of flack for this, so consider this my invitation to suck it.

What can I say about Saw that everyone else in the world hasn’t already said. It belongs in the Hall of Fame along with Psycho, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Scream. It’s a game changer that came along and turned the whole industry on it’s ear, while breaking out of the horror community and earning praise all across the board from mainstream critics.

It’s so original, and so fantastic that I could go on all day. Of course, you’ll ask the question of if I love it so much, why isn’t it number 1, well, I’ll tell you.

Cary Elwes. He’s absolutely terrible in this movie. I’ve seen him in a ton of other things, and he’s great. But here? Ugh, he’s God-awful. Now, granted, he isn’t terrible through out the entire picture, because it would render the film unwatchable, he just has large peaks of performances that make me cringe. One of the worst is when he’s on the phone with Zep, and he starts screaming; “ZEP! You bastard! You let them go! You bastard!” to which his daughter gets on the phone and he gets this dumb look on his face that is about to match the dumbest voice he could muster when he says “Hailey?”. It’s just so off putting that I laughed out loud the first time I saw it. It’s Cary’s fault that Saw doesn’t reach the top spot.

Best-Trap: This is an easy one, because it’s the trap that Saw is most well known for. The reverse head vice. It won this prestigious award for the 7th film, and tadow bitch, it’s back.

#1 – Saw II
Date: October 28th, 2005
Tag-Line: Oh Yes, There Will Be Blood

Oh yeah, baby. Now we’re talking.

Saw 1 was incredible. We just went over that. It was a thriller with a guessing game, and introducing us to the world of Jigsaw.

Saw II is just one big load of fucking fun. The difference between the two is sort of like a video game, where you play one level that’s very intricate, detailed, and difficult. It’s a lot of fun, but it’s very detailed. Where’s the next level, it’s just guns blazing, turn the brain off and have fun. That’s exactly what Saw II is.

Getting to see multiple people together talking about what to do and how to do it, trying to figure out why they’re all here, and what might happen is awesome. One of the flaws of the later movies is that there’s so many unanswered questions, with this though, we get some nice touch ups from the first one.

Saw I had a fantastic twist in the end, and I’ll even to go as far to say that Saw II had an even better one. I’m pretty good at predicting things, but I was Ray Charles watching porn here, I didn’t see it coming. A brilliant twist, I thought.

The traps this time around weren’t as brutal, or as creative, but they were simple and to the point. The hand gun on the peep hole was brilliant, and of course this movie provides us with easily the most cringe worthy moment in Saw history; the needle pit. I’ve seen Saw II at least 10 times or so, and each time it’s hard to watch. Especially when she has to dig through the damn thing.

Bottom line, it’s a fantastic film with a basic, but entertaining plot that ends with a brilliant finish that bonds with all the other highlights of the film to make it not just the best of the series, but one of the best horror movies of all time.

Best-Trap: It may not have been a trap per-say, but with how brutal and memorable it is, the needle pit rules all.

If you want to see the video of it, just head over to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIskhGBG1NA . I tried to embed the video, but for some reason all the fucking videos of this have the embedding option disabled. What the hell?

So, there you go kids. You now know what to tell people when they ask you what order you’d place the Saws. Sure, it’s good to think for yourself, but what’s even better? Letting me think for you. OK, keep it crunk, and continue doing the dick slang. Peace.


~ by Caliber Winfield on March 14, 2011.

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