WCW Monday Nitro – 6/8/98
nWo Hollywood comes out with Rodzilla. Hogan gets on the stick, to tell the crowd things such as Macho is a “limp-wristed, light-in-the-loafer, Macho Girl”, and that Rodman “be the bomb, brah”. Poetry.
Rodman then gets on the mic, and I’m not kidding, or exaggerating, as I tend to do, he says “hey”, 147 times. No joke. I really don’t understand the point of the promo, to be honest. Hogan tells Rodman to “eat’em alive” to which Rodman hits us with “nWo for life, started in black, still here” in one raging whisper. True to his word, I feel eaten alive.
We get a recap of last week, where Sting joined the Wolfpac. They edit it to make it look like Sting could in fact rip the shirt from the top.
I don’t get it. If I was going to do something like that, I’d cut the shirt beforehand, just so I don’t look like an asshole.
Nitro girls. Yeah, Shawn’s wife is really hot.
Now we get some footage of them going outside, and asking some kids what they think of Sting joining. They give us such drops of knowledge as “right choice. You know?” and then “they’re too sweeeet. DDP is next to be tooo sweeeet”. Indeed, good sir.
They play the wrong nWo music before playing Wolfpac’s music. Tony says that the wolf howl is in fact the most famous wolf howl in sports. Which is saying a lot because there’s a TON of wolf howl’s in sports. I tend to get sick of it, to be honest. Anyone else notice that most of these guys don’t even make the wolf sign? They just touch their fingers together as if they were about to jack-off. They’re in full force.
I will say, although I’m covering 98 Nitro’s now because I believe when they split the nWo, was when WCW started it’s decline, as a teenager, I LOVED the Wolfpac. I thought it was brilliant because it rejuvenated my interest in the nWo. So, they try and recruit DDP. Oh snaps, Hollywood is in the skybox and has cut off the mic. Rodman presses a button and pyros go off. They then cut the lights.
Man, Konnan is terrible. I absolutely hate having to hear him.
24 minutes in, and we get some wrestling.
Jerry Flynn vs. Yuji Nagata
Flynn is a pretty clumsy wrestler. Tons of chops and kicks. Just as I was typing that, I thought they were about to do a suplex, but Flynn was very tricky and turned it into a kick. Flynn tries to kick Sonny Ono, who got on the ropes, then Nagata kicks him. We get the Nagata lock, and a tap out. About 5 minutes.
Rating: * 1/4
Jericho interview. Hell yeah. Last week was the Conspiracy Victim bit. Jericho has a registered letter from Ted Turner. I think this might be the letter than Bish said he wanted to write, but of course just brushed it off and Jericho wrote it half n hour before the show. Ooh, Mr. Turner says that Dean shouldn’t be the champ. But then says tough luck. One of the all time greatest. Easy.
The Flock is now out. It’s Horace and Reese. Horace of course is Hogan’s nephew, and full name is Horace Boulder. Which is what Hogan and Beefcake used as last names on the circuit.
Horace & Reese vs. Juvi & Van Hammer
Hammer tells us Juvi is one angry Mexican. Well then. Reese and Boulder outside, catch Juvi as he cross body blocks to the outside. Then Van Hammer leaps out, and it all comes crashing down. Juvi is pretty decent, but man, with slugs like most of the Flock, he doesn’t have a prayer. Reese hits the choke slam, and the pin. 7 minutes or so. But when 3 of the 4 are wrestling in slow motion, it’s more like 20 minutes.
Rating: * 1/2
Back from commercial, and nWo Hollywood is in a room with about 15 un-attractive females. Hogan’s letting us know that Nash has to pay for all the powerbombs that Hogan paid for. He made sure to check with his attorney. Good deal.
Scott Putski vs. Eddie Guerrero
Really not much here but some ordinary this and that. Chavo comes out and Eddie freaks before bailing. This has turned into a pretty entertaining angle. Putski gets the win, baby
We get an interview with The Giant. He’s talking about eating Sting. He actually cuts a decent promo by talking about how Sting is a bug, and how he’s going to pluck the wings and limbs off of Sting.
They come back from the commercial to see Hogan & Bret sitting alone in the nWo party room. It looks like Bret was blowing Hogan. That makes more sense than them whispering to each other in an empty room. Which is what I guess they were doing. Ah well.
We get our 15th nWo interview. K-Dogg, Rude, and Henning talk about Goldberg being a steam roller, and while others became part of the pavement, they will not.
WCW TV Title Match
Fit Finlay [C] vs. Norman Smiley
I use to think Norman was just a jobber, however, after reading Jericho’s book, he use to be a big deal in Japan. He was known as Black Magic. I always thought he looked like the Gay-porn version of a Cosby kid. He’s under-rated though, I’ll give him that. Match is decent. Finlay hits the Celtic Cross, before it was his finisher. This is when the Tombstone was. I always thought that this movie was exclusive, and should really only be done by Taker. Not a bad bout, needed way more time though.
Rating: * *
Tony’s in the ring to interview Stinger. It does need to be known that Wolfpac’s music is one of the greatest themes of all time. The nWo just hit home runs with their music. This is when Sting just had red face paint and boots, before he went all red and became what Scott Keith called a lobster. Sting goes the route of being a mother and tells The Giant to shower, quit smoking and drinking the champagne. He also does the nWo version of Suck It, but does it real awkward. His arms are very far apart, and it looks like he’s trying to ski.
Now Tony is interviewing Roddy. He’s upset that Rodman is wearing plaid. Well, who isn’t. He says Macho is from a testtube. I have no idea what that means. Is he implying that Angelo didn’t have the sperm and thus Macho’s mother had to have invetero? Piper says he’s gonna bust out more moves than they’ve ever seen. If Piper thinks a few punches, a sleeper and an eye gouge are more moves than I’ve ever seen, then he’s spot on, baby. Macho comes out. He says he doesn’t trust Piper. Hogan then intervenes from the sky box. He talks basically about how Eric is going to fuck Elizabeth because he doesn’t need viagra. Bret looks like he’d probably rather have gone through 20 Montreal’s than this crap. Macho is about to let Hogan and Liz something, hopefully it’s that he has AIDS, and now they both do. Fuck, wouldn’t that be awesome? Nope, it’s not that cool. He just says he’s over Liz, he’s not over Hogan, and not over Piper, as he slugs him. Yikes, man.
We get a recap of Jericho from Thursday. He says he has a book from the Library of Congress, that states due to the Stranger Lewis loophole, that a Champion has first right to refuse any challenge. He demands on the honor of Dean’s dead father that he give him his belt back. He stomps up and down before Dean levels him.
WCW Cruiserweight Championship
Disco Inferno vs. Dean Malenko [C]
Dean fires off about 30 stomps to Inferno while he’s in the corner. Too bad this match isn’t getting any length, because Dean is fucking awesome. Match is basically a showcase of Dean tearing Disco apart. Clover Leaf ends it. 3 minutes, or so.
Rating: * *
Sweet fancy Moses, man. This is seriously the 10th nWo interview, and seriously the 46th time I’ve heard Hogan say the word ‘power’. Honestly, he hasn’t even said brother, really. We get footage of Hogan’s newest member to Hollywood. It’s Scott Steiner. Footage of him talking to Carl Weathers. Then hanging out with Shannon Tweed. It’s interesting though, Scott is able to say quite a few words without acting like his skull is trying to crawl out of his mouth. Amazing.
They show a little piece on Goldberg. I absolutely hate the fucker, and always did. Why people jumped on his jock I’ll never know. WCW sure knows where the butter is now, since they’re saving him for the end of their shows, and he’s only the US Champ.
US Title Match
Chavo Guerrero vs. Goldberg [C]
Goldberg is at 98-0, looking to snag 99. Then Konnan will become 100 at the Bash. Took him a while to get his entrance down. I think this is the first time it occurred to him that it’s a lot cooler if he stands in the sparks, than standing behind them like a shop teacher. Chavo gets no offense what so ever. Haha, as he’s trying to look cool after the pin, he ends up tripping over Chavo, and then yells at him for being an idiot. Just another reason why I very much dislike this asshole both professionaly and personally.
You’d think that Goldberg would be the way to end the show. Nope. It’s ANOTHER nWo moment. The Wolfpac is going to try and recruit DDP. He comes out, acts as if he’s going to turn, then BAM. Hogan & Rodman come out and smash him with chairs. They wail on him for quite a while and you’d think the Wolfpac, who is trying to snag DDP, would have rushed to save him. Instead they get out there with the speed of dick. This all is going to lead to the worse wrestling match in history. DDP & Malone vs. Hogan & Rodman.
Well, if there’s one thing I could say about this show, it’d be redundant. We’d get about 3 minutes of wrestling, and an nWo promo. A another small match. More nWo stuff. I think I’m safe in saying the split of the nWo was the start of WCW’s decline.