The Only Review of Scream That You’ll Ever Need

What’s the good word, kids? As you know, your boy gets a rockin’ boner for Scream. I named it one of the Top 5 most important horror movies ever, and I’ve on more than one occasion said that Scream is my all time favorite horror movie. So, naturally, you can imagine how fucking stoked I was when I learned of Scream 4. Seriously, I was so stoked I didn’t just get a rockin’ boner, but I got two. Yeah, at the same time. I don’t have two members, but I just had so much boner going on, that I had to have two boners to carry the weight.

Anyways, with the new one dropping I thought I’d go back and review the first three for you guys. Let’s get it bangin’…

It was winter of 7th grade, and I’d come home from a friend’s house one night. On top of the VCR in the living room was a tape that my parent’s had rented. I looked at it, and saw it was Scream. Being a horror fan, I’d heard about this from all over the place, so I was mighty stoked. I popped that bad boy in, and about 10 minutes later, I ejected it. I was absolutely terrified. I had to lay there on the ground and watch normal TV and wait for the fear to subside. The opening of Scream was the scariest thing I’d ever seen, and to this day is still the scariest opening ever.

The History:
Scream was written my awesome-movie-writer-man Kevin Williamson. He had wanted to see a horror movie that was a throwback to the classics he’d loved, like Halloween. So, he got a hotel out in the desert, and banged out the script in 3 days. Originally titled Scary Movie, he sent it to his agent and within a day or two he had a bidding war going on. Drew Barrymore signed on before she even knew what role she wanted. Wes Craven actually turned it down the first time around, because he thought it was too scary and thought there was no way they’d be able to do it that way. Then, later, at a convention, a fan asked when he was going to be doing something kick-ass again, such as Last House, or Nightmare. That was what he needed to hear to get in the driver’s seat. With a major director, and a major star attached, Scream was a go.

The Review:
As stated above, I think the opening is absolutely fantastic. It’s so well written, and played out. The voice is tremendous, and the way he builds from a flirty, fun guy on the phone to an over the edge psychotic. The brilliance of it is that his tone never changed. It was as if being crazy and violent was the same as just flirting. Only when she got mouthy, or wouldn’t play along did Ghostface become stern, making him even more terrifying.

The way he played games with her, and tricked her with the question about Friday The 13th was genius. In the beginning, you wonder if he’s just playing with her, as I’m sure she’s thinking the same thing, but when you see her boyfriend freshly gutted, you know it’s on. Having the smoke fill the house added to the scene so much. It was a throwback to the old Universal horror films, where they used a lot of fog to set a mood. The smoke was the same thing.

Her murder was beyond brutal. Her parents hearing it on the phone, then walking out to see her strung up in the tree. I mean, holy shit, man. We’d never seen ANYTHING like this in horror movies. You knew shit was on after this. Seeing the mask for the first time was awesome too, because they went with a KISS approach. As in Keep It Simple Stupid. I’d seen that mask a thousand times in stores, and thought it was dumb as hell. The second I saw it here, chasing down Casey Becker? It became probably the scariest mask in movie history.

I thought Nev Campbell was the perfect choice for Syd Prescott. She was cute, and innocent with a strong side to her. A much better built heroine that what we usually get from horror films. Her boyfriend, played by Skeet Ulrich is also an incredible choice. I can totally see why chicks would dig him, because he has bad boy look to him, that you’re pretty sure is for show, yet at the same time. The rest of the cast was filled out nicely. I don’t like Jamie Kennedy. He’s just an obnoxious fuck who’s like all those kids in school who thought they were funny, but couldn’t have been further from it. But he’s the right choice here, I think. Courtney Cox was great as Gale Weathers, because we’d always seen her playing the same role, and breaking off from that and playing an against type was great. Arquette as Dewey is one of those cases where you just know the actor was born to play that part. That, and whatever his name was in Ready to Rumble.

Another thing that happened that I loved, was they killed the principal. It’s something you’d never seen before, because in most horror movies, it’s dark, and you’re on the killer’s turf. But here, at a school, in day light? Just some awesome shit, man.

Once we get to the party, everything was building to a fantastic crescendo. Billy had been cleared, and actually managed to get Syd to give it up. Which I thought was just brilliant, just fucking brilliant. Her mother being killed, and being called a slut, and a whore had caused Syd to regress, sexually. Her boyfriend, Billy, has some issues with it, but understands. However, nearing the end of the film, bam, he gets her between the sheets. Knowing the ending of the film, it made it such an awesome point in the film. She just slept with not only the man who’d killed her mother, but was also killing her friends and terrorizing her. Awesome stuff.

The ending was really nothing short of brilliant. We’d never had a whole two killer scenario before. Sure, we’d had films with multiple killers, but never when it seemed as if there was only one. With Billy having been cleared, it made him being the killer that much more of a surprise. The big reveal of killing her mom was also great, as well as the kidnapping of the father.

Not just a fantastic horror movie, but a fantastic movie. Period.

Number of Deaths: 7

Steve – Gutted by Ghostface because Casey didn’t answer the question correctly

Casey – Stabbed quite a few times and hung from a tree.

Principal Himbry – Stabbed a ton after saying hi to a janitor dressed as Freddy Krueger, played by Wes Craven.

Tatum – Crushed by the garage door. Obviously, a very plausible death.

Kenny – Throat slashed while mobbing on some chips.

Stu – Crushed by a TV after being stabbed a few times.

Billy – Stabbed and shot. And shot. And shot once more.

Box-Office Business:
It cost 14 million dollars, and in the end it brought in a cool 173 million dollars. Being one of the most successful horror movies ever.

Fact-A-Mondos:
Dewey was suppose to die, but they decided to keep him going, which sort of became his MO. He was also suppose to be a hunky, leading-man type. As David was suppose to be Billy, but opted for Dewey instead.

In order to keep Drew looking scared and upset, Wes would call her with stories about real animal cruelty.

No one saw the guy who played the voice, in order to keep it a mystery, and help with being scared.

Drew insisted she play Casey because a major star dying would show the audience that anything could go down.

Sales and usage of Caller ID increased three fold after the release of this film.

 

There we have it, kids. In the next couple days I’ll get up the reviews for part 2 and 3, and hopefully I’ll be able to see part 4 in the theaters, and give you kids the low-down. But I can almost promise you now that it’s going to fucking rule. Dig it.

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~ by Caliber Winfield on April 12, 2011.

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