The Only Review of Scream 4 That You’ll Ever Need

Scream 4
April 15th, 2011

Obviously, as you can see from the last 3 reviews, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out I’m a massive fan of the Scream franchise. In fact, the first film of the series is my all time favorite movie. I love everything about the series. From the music, the direction, the characters, the twists, the kills, Ghostface, everything. So, when I heard they were making Scream 4, with Craven & Williamson, I got a boner so big that they canceled All My Children, One Life To Live, AND The Paul Reiser Show. Yeah, it was that raging. As news progressed, I just kept getting more and more excited. Returning crew and everything. It can’t lose, can it?!

Man, it lost. Warning, there will be a ton of spoilers. But if you haven’t seen it, and are still interested in what I have to say, I”ll put a summary at the bottom for you folk.

*******************SPOILERS BEGIN**********************

First off, the beginning is fucking stupid. If they’d done one Stab sequence, and that was it, then OK, that’s pretty cool. But nope. Instead, they do one Stab fake out, then another, then a girl receives a phone call from the killer, and THAT’s a fake out too. It was just beating a dead horse over, and over, and over.

Finally, once it gets going, it just never does. This movie never feels like Scream. They don’t use Red Right Hand, the song used in all three films. They don’t even use the Dewy/Gale song. That’s one of my favorite pieces from the film, and it’s no where to be seen.

None of the characters are really that unique, or likeable. At this point in the game, you’re really only interested in the main characters you know, and they just don’t seem to put in the effort for you to dig the others. Take Scream 3 for instance, we got a batch of new people, but they were all so unique and of their own, that you could tell them apart, and dig it when they were on Screen. Doesn’t really happen here.

With Scream, they usually have the killer picking up a new technique or something. Such as going from something to disguise the voice, to be able to duplicate them. With this, they decide that the killer is going to film it all. Makes sense. However, they introduce the idea more than half way through the film, and then we see the killer using the technique. It just seemed liked an after thought.

The ending was absolutely atrocious. Really? Her freaking niece is the killer so she can become famous? How stupid of a motive is that. There’s a million ways these days to be famous, killing people would surely be a last resort. Plus, why would she have to wait for Sidney to come around in order for her to become famous? Having Sidney alive would have just made things even easier, I think. Especially while on a book tour. Then, instead of a nice, neat ending like we always get, they fucking drag this thing out like a goddamn Stretch Armstrong. The whole hospital scene was laughable. Like she’d risk everything by trying to kill Sid right there. It was just like the beginning, beating a dead horse.

A much better choice for a killer would have been Sidney’s Aunt. They could have gone with Sid’s mom having always been the older, and more popular one. Always getting the attention, and finally getting the fame. Then Sid, just like her mother, goes on to leave Woodsboro and everyone behind. It would have made sense, been cohesive, and pretty awesome. But Kevin just got stupid on this one. Perhaps a second viewing on DVD will change my mind, but I’m doubting it.

****************************SPOILERS END****************************

For those who didn’t want the spoilers, here’s my review in a nutshell. This movie only felt like a Scream because of the actors, and Ghostface. With no music, no interesting twists, and a very, very stupid reveal and ending, this film fell very short, and truly broke my heart. Here’s to hoping the DVD has an awesome Director’s Cut.

Final Rating: * * * out of 5

Although, there is one plus, Alison Brie is in the film:

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~ by Caliber Winfield on April 24, 2011.

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