The Only Weekly Wrestling Column You’ll Ever Need
OK. That Wrestling Show was too ambitious at this point. So, I’ve got Sebastian back at the helm, where he belongs. I’ve given him free reign to talk about whatever he wants. He may do reviews, he may do round-ups, he may write stories about him and CM Punk needing to go back to 1955 in order to get their parents to kiss at the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance.
Oh, as a PS, I’ll be writing exclusive content for FridayThe13thFilms.com. So, stop by there once a week or so and check out my new work.
Well Caliber doesn’t want to do the Round Ups with me anymore because he’s got a bunch of other stuff to do so I’m going back to writing these on my own. I have no idea what number I was at so I’m just going to start at one and work my way up. Same format as last time so let’s get to it.
Raw- Well the show started off with Rock cutting a promo from some place that’s really windy via satalite. In short he said he was going to team up with Cena at Survior Series after saying there was no chance in Hell he was going to team up with Cena at Survior Series. I don’t really see why as he has no problem with the Awesome Jobbers but whatever.
CM Punk wrestled Mark Henry in a like, two minute match. I guess it was pretty good, Ricardo went out and got Punk DQ’d so he couldn’t wrestle Del Rio at Survior Series. Boo! I want the Beat the Clock Sprint matches back! Those were sweet and actually gave a reason for matches to be so short on Raw, plus it would be a loophole for Cena to not be 1# contender after Survior Series. Then again WWE’s stuck in a holding pattern right now and has no new stars and I can’t even think of someone they could have to go up against Del Rio at the next ppv. Or Punk for that matter, Punk’s already beaten the Awesome Jobbers, Del Rio can’t wrestle another heel, and Cena’s also beaten Awesome Jobbers. I am just at a loss for what WWE is supposed to do and I’m guessing they are too. Either that or they’re not even thinking that far ahead. I’m not going to be shocked if they pull out the Fatal 4 Way ppv just so they don’t have to come up with any new ideas.
Next we had a Diva’s Costume Battle Royal. Eve won, yay! Now we get to see Eve vs Beth Phoniex and no one gives a shit.
Air Boom vs Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes I’ve heard was a pretty good match. I didn’t actually sit through it but I’ve heard it was the best match on Raw which isn’t too hard to belive. Only stupid thing here is that they went over the tag champs, they’re not supposed to be champions if the only fucking thing they do is lose! Then some bullshit happened that ended with Christan looking like he had to take a poop.
Then Del Rio jobbed to The Big Show for no fucking reason. Heard it was pretty boring and I can belive it because I’ve seen their terrible cage match the night CM Punk did his shoot promo. Oddly enough that was also the night Punk jobbed to Kane.
Santino beat Swangle due to help from the Muppetts. I love the Muppetts but this is Kurt fucking Swangle we’re talking about here! He was world champion last year, I don’t think he should be jobbing to Santino.
Dolph wrestled Zack, people have been saying that Zack’s been getting better in the ring, I wouldn’t really know since I didn’t see this but Zack going over Dolph is bullshit, Dolph was fueding with Edge for the Title earlier this year and now he’s jobbing to Zack Ryder? Ugh.
The Muppetts had a pretty funny segment right before the main event actually. Thought it was pretty cute.
Main event was John Cena vs The Miz, earlier this year I’d actually be excited about this but not now because Miz has become nothing more than a jobber. Cena takes out Miz and Truth wearing a Scream mask.It would of actually been kind of funny if Cena was wrestling someone from Smackdown, let’s say Cody Rhodes, and they both ran in wearing Scream masks and kicked Cena’s ass. Now that would of been better booking and built up to Survior Seires.
TNA had a rehash of James Storm vs Robert Rhoode which I just saw about two or three weeks ago. I guess this match is supposed to mean something because its for the “prestegious” TNA Title. TNA’s booking is becoming worse than WWE’s of late and they’re just hot shotting the title around. I just watched Beavis and Butthead plus Highlander, I honestly didn’t even remember that TNA was on.
Smackdown was actually pretty good, well what I saw of it. The first match between Orton and Cody Rhodes was fucking amazing with Orton having to pull all the stops to beat Rhodes and only doing so after DDT’ing him on the outside of the floor and then RKO’ing him. Funny thing about that DDT on the outside, as soon as he did that I lifted my head up and hit it on brick casing of a wall on accident. Yeah, now I know what it feels like to be Cody Rhodes! It hurts, a lot.
There was a decent match between Wade Barrett and Sheamus that Barrett won. Really Barrett shouldn’t be winning against Sheamus because Sheamus is getting a huge push and Barrett’s been nothing but buried for the last couple months.
In the main event Daniel Bryan jobbed again to Mark Henry. Look Big Show interfered and attacked Show and Bryan still got his ass kicked? How weak are they trying to make Bryan look?
Anyway put that crap out of your mind because we all know that WWE sucks today so I did a Retro Review for you guys. You can thank me…. now. But you’ll get the article next week!