Sebastian’s Wrestling Round-Up

Well this is the date that Eddie Guerrero died in 2005 so I’ve been watching his matches all day because I’m awesome. Before jumping right into the show I actually have some news bits I’m pulling from I’ll add my opinons of them and what not.
Recently Shane Douglas did an interview for Busted Open about going to TNA. I don’t listen to Wrestling podcasts at all but I have read some of his transcript and he’s come across as a total prick. He apprantley thinks he’s a bigger star than Hogan and Flair and deserves more pay than them when other newer guys that can work better than him are doing it for less. Shane really does come across as egotistical here and downright sounds like a douchebag.

In other news Henry Godwin drove off a cliff and survived, he’s now in hosptial care. He must be the fucking Terminator.

Matt Morgan’s cousin, Michael Morgan, a police officer was shot off duty trying to stop a robbery. Rest in peace Michael.

Low Ki is training at Batistia’s gym. Maybe he wants to learn how to yell “I thought you were my friend,” at Rey Mysterio.

Chyna wants to come back to WWE. Well nobody was going to pay for a porn with you in it, instead they’d watch it online for free.

Christan was injured in a Europe tour though I’m not sue if he’s really injured because they played up the hurt neck angle on Smackdown so that could be all it is, an angle.

WWE’s bringing back the Informer on their website, its a thing they used to do in WWE Magazines in the 90’s where the Informer would backstage exclusive scoops which meant vauge interviews that never answered any questions.

Wrestling Legend Killer Karl Kox (real name: Herb Gerwig) passed away on Thursday morning at the age of 80. Never heard of this guy but um, his initials are kind of freaking me out.

WWE Network has made a new logo that looks horrible.

Well that’s the news, onto Raw and Smackdown.

RAW: Okay first off I want to talk about the only important thing of this show, CM Punk’s promo on Del Rio. Punk called Del Rio boring, and really cut into him voicing complaints that a lot of people have had with Rio (me included). Now some people online have said this promo is stupid because Punk’s fictional character was making fun of Del Rio’s fictional character. That’s not what I saw him doing at all though, Punk’s promos are intresting and for me the reason I’m watching. Del Rio’s promos are run of the mill and the same crap over and over again. Another Raw Review went so far as to say Punk was racist against Del Rio calling him slimy. Look Punk wasn’t being racist here, he was disecting Del Rio from the inside (figuratively) and bringing out the problem(s) with him, the whole slimy thing was to imply that he kept on running away whenever he got into a fight using Ricardo as a shield to save himself. The same person went on to say that Punk calling Del Rio hombre was racist, naw screw that, I think Punk was just trying to be funny there.

Later in the night Punk was backstage probably putting more blood and tears in his hair when he bumped into Johnny Ace (he has a T-Shirt you can buy at and David Bowtunga. David says that Punk looks like he works at a gas station so Punk kicks his ass.So what if David Bowtunga’s a lawyer who didn’t really deserve to be attacked and in the real world could of totally sued Punk? This is CM Fucking Punk beating up David Otunga!

Alright now that I’ve gone thorugh the good stuff aka the only crap I actually sat through on Raw time to get to the bad stuff.

We were taped from Liverpool, England. Why the Hell is it called Liverpool, who names a place Liverpool? Awesome Jobbers and Cena cut promos on each other with Cena apprantley making racial remarks. I didn’t actualy see it but I’m not that suprised after he called Justin Gabrial gay. Actually where the fuck is Justin? NXT? FCW? Anyway this set up the tag match later tonight, Zack Ryder and Cena vs Awesome Jobbers. Why doesn’t anyone care? E teased us with this match two weeks before plus they had a match where Cena destroyed the Jobbers of Truth last week.

John Morrison wrestled Dolph Ziggler in a match that’s got a mixed reaction. I was actually figuring that Morrison was just going to job again so I didn’t sit through it. I was playing through the Modern Warfare 2 Campagin because a column on here earlier was talking abou how awesome it was and it was kind of addicting actually. Ending was lame as Hell though, I mean is there even any way you can lose? Anyway Morrison won which may mean he’ll be getting a push which gives another person for Del Rio or Punk to beat after Survior Series. Or another person to hand the title to, who knows? I was hoping Ziggler would get the big push but if Morrison gets it I’ll still be happy. Anyone but Mason Ryan.

That’s a good lead in to this next match. Ryan wrestled JTG in what I’ve heard is a five star masterpiece where Ryan pulled out a twisting plancha and JTG hit a top rope powerbomb only for Ryan to do a kick combo into standing moonsault which JTG in turn reversed into a roll up but Ryan finished him off with a dragon sleeper/surfboard combo.

Del Rio went on to squash Kofi Kingston, I think they were having trouble following that last match.

Punk cut the amazing promo of amazingess and Kevin Nash continued starring at you like you stole his Big Daddy tights or something.

Jack Swaggers having a twitch problem and somehow that allows him to beat Santino. This a really stupid angle that will hopefulyl be forgotten in a couple months. Or weeks.

Oh to anyone who wanted jobber matches back, there were three of them on this show so you got your wish. Hallueagh.

Kelly’s on a magazine and isn’t naked, no one cared.

Nash cut a shoot promo that might of been important in 1998 but has no bearing on today.

Cena and Zack Ryder wrestled Awesome Jobbers and Awesome Jobbers won by holding Cena’s legs down. Holy shit! I’ve gotta buy the ppv now! They held his fucking legs down! Its going to be Montreal all over again! The Rock’s going to be there too? That’s just icing on the fucking cake!

Yeah so I didn’t watch TNA because the spoilers made the show sound like shit, Scott Keith’s giving out some glowing reviews of the show but it has too much Jeff Hardy for my taste. Also the best match of the show is Christopher Daniels vs AJ Styles which they’ve done like a billion times on TNA. Hell didn’t they just main event a ppv? Also TNA has no fucking idea what they’re doing with that title at this point.

Smackdown was decentish. Kind of funny, I switched my TV over to some shitty Tyler Perry TV Show on TBS and this girl went, “Let me introduce you to…” and then I switch to Smackdown and Wade Barrett yells his name really loud.

Christan wrestled Sheamus in a pretty decent match and same with Orton and Barrett. Glad that Barrett went over there though we all know that the faces are winning at Survior Series now. Bryan Danielson’s still jobbing it out. Basically people are so desprate right now that they’re saying this is a push for Danielson. Yes, he used to job to Sin Cara and now he jobs to Mark Henry, big fucking improvement.

Stay safe.

Also the best part of Raw was Johnny Ace yelling don’t make me take off my jacket.

Cut to 5:20


~ by Caliber Winfield on November 15, 2011.

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