Sebastian’s WWR [soon to be WWRE when a wildlife group sues us]
A little known fact about our friend Sebastian, he’s actually a biological clone of Tiny “Zeus” Lester from No Holds Barred fame!
Well this week we have the return of the Rock which is a very picky subject with smarks, basically some people love him and some people think he’s a douchebag. I’m in that second category. Rock hasn’t really been great since 2001, he’s just been annoyning and honestly having him come back did two things. [Hey, it’s Caliber. I know I don’t inject myself anymore, but I have to disagree here. Rock was at his peak, as far as entertainment wise, was in 2003. When he played a Hollywood asshole, who was too big for the business and such. He did The Rock Concerts and what have you. It was fantastic.]
A) It showed how lame everyone else’s mic skills were today in E (excpet for Punk but he was a heel so its a differnt dynamic).
It got smarks, marks, smarts, smurks, and smurfs excited. Well some of them anyway. Hell when Rock showed up out of the blue I thought it was pretty cool. Then the Rock did lame sketches on satelite and really wore out his welcome. Sure I’m kind of glad that Rock’s going to wrestle Cena in Florida because I live there but there’s nothing left to build up. Everyone was looking forward to their one-on-one confrontation and they already had it. I was watching an old Rock promo earlier today because Scooter promoted it on his site. I watched it and Rock and Mick Foley made jokes back and forth with Rock doing the same shit he always does. Sure he had the fans in the palm of his hands but the crowds pretty fucking stupid anyway consdering the mind-numbing shit WWF was putting out at 1999. I mean how many god damn times did they do Steve Austin vs Taker? And they were pushing Billy Gunn and had two of the worst shows ever, Royal Rumble 1999 and King of the Ring 1999. The decent mid carder woker back then was Val Fucking Venis!
Anyway I’m getting off my orginal point that I think Rock is a douchebag and is taking up space that CM Punk should be eating up damn it! There’s no point to Rock/Cena vs Awesome Jobbers because Cena’s already kicked their asses. They really should have done an NWO thing with Miz and Truth and had them destroy Rock and Cena leading up to the ppv. Everyone would still know who was going to win but at least the build wouldn’t have sucked as much.
More on this later, now onto news!
Wrestling news courtesy johnreport.net
WWE wants to bring in Basketball players to wrestle. Are you fucking kidding me? Austin Aries, Eddie Edwards, Davey Richards aren’t doing jack shit but wrestling in PWG and ROH and you want to sign fucking Basketball players? Ugh.
Before I get on to any more wrestling news there’s something I just learned, the goverment is trying to block shit on the internet. Now I’m sure this is part of WWE’s brilliant plan to get more people to buy WWE Network (all Justin.tv streams have been shut down) and he’s secretly a mastermind that killed JFK and MLK even though he wasn’t born yet… or was he? Anyway here’s two sites you can sign to petition against it http://americancensorship.org/ and http://act.demandprogress.org/sign/sopa_testimony/?akid=1018.606560.JTkqV4&rd=1&t=2
In other news Ultimate Warrior won’t die because he got anit-dying cream from Hulk Hogan.
Jeff Hardys wearing a mask now because, um, I don’t know so I’m going to say his face was burnt in a fight to the death over drugs with the Joker and Jeff fell into an acid pit.
Jesse Neal is leaving TNA because they wanted him to wrestle in OVW. Neal isn’t that great and TNA really did want him going over to OVW t oget some crediblity but its a demotion for Jesse so I can see why he would want to leave.
And here’s a song I’ve been listening to on loop while doing this coulmn http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nzXKWKaxt3c&feature=related
Diana Hart Smith has gone on record saying that the reason her son failed in WWE is because they did not want him to succeed. Yeah whatever, this bitch took away Owen Hart matches from DVD and DH was never over anyway. A better thing to complain about would be the shitty treatment of one Tyson Kidd but no bitch about DH.
Chyna says she’d be intrested to go to TNA. Maybe she can have that epic rematch with Jeff Jarrett that no one wanted.
Communitys getting taken off of NBC and Mick Foley will be in an episode of 30 Rock. Community’s been pretty bad this season but I’m pretty pissed that NBC’s taking it off all together. As for Mick Foley, he better DDT someone. [Sorry for yet another interjection, but I agree. Community has sucked ass this season. Chang is terrible when he isn’t the teacher. He tries to fill the role that Pierce already does, but go even crazier. I’m so sick of the episodes where they fight, but then in the end Jeff comes up with a speech and they all realize they love each other. Really, season 1 is the only must have]
On to Raw. After every episode of Raw I think I shoud listen to Hakuna Matata.
Anyway this show started off with a contest between Michael Cole and JR that sucked. After fifteen boring minutes CM Punk comes out and says its horrible somehow leading to a tag match with him and Big Show vs Mark Henry and Del Rio.
Next match was Hunico and Cody Rhodes vs Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston. Hunico came out to no heat and was pretty much destroyed in the tag match. The faces won because its the opening match of Raw and faces ussually win those.
Dolph Ziggler came out and bragged about himself only to get killed by Ryan. Ugh, I like Dolph, he has heat, why not push him? Becuase Mason Ryan’s so fucking talented and over?
The next segment was Cena/Mick Foley and it was…. intresting. It wasn’t boring, it wasn’t even really bad but it wasn’t good either. I guess it was pretty lame and that shit with John Cena’s Dad telling fans not to boo his son because apprantley I’m a tastetostrone (all credit to that guy on scotts blog) filled idoit or something. I was really hoping for a Cena’s Dad sucks chant. I mean who the fuck gets booed in their hometown? Rock came out and tried to be Steve Austin and hit Foley with a rock Bottom that he didn’t even sell properly.
After that Sheamus beat Swagger in a okay-ish match. That’s all it was, okay.
Y’know people have been bitching about Brodus Clay but what the fuck happened to that guy who won Tough Enough this year? What a waste of fucking time that show was.
Big Show and CM Punk beat Del Rio and Big Show. I was honestly really scared this was going to turn into a handicapped match because Punk was attacked before the match but luckily he was still able to wrestle, that tough sleepless bastard! The match was pretty good excpet for when Henry and Show were in the ring, it was just pure boring then.
Alright my fingers are telling me to go fuck myself so I’ll wrap this up. Santino was jobbed to Nash and Rock and Cena buried Jobbers.
Have a good week and thanks for reading.