Minute Man Reviews

Ladies, doing movie reviews isn’t the only thing I do very well and very fast. I also play video games pretty quick too.

I’m really not one for romantic comedies. They’re always the same formula, and you can call every plot advancement and joke before it happens. Now, granted, a lot of action films have the same plot, but I always enjoy seeing the variation on the same things. I don’t want to see the different methods of A] Guys and B]Girl getting together through some unorthadox manner, falling in love, something breaking them apart, and then they fall back in love.

But when they’re done right, they can kick a lot of ass. Hell, just look at The Wedding Singer, that’s one of the funniest movies of all time, great stuff.

Crazy, Stupid, Love falls under the category of “done right”. It’s along the lines of Love Actually as it follows a group of people as they all deal with being in love, and how it can pretty much suck.

Steve Carrel is great as a defeated man who’s meek and wanting things to go back to the way they were, despite how mundane it all was. Ryan Gosling is probably the best womanizer I’ve ever seen on film. He’s super suave, and cool as hell. He’s the guy that most men want to be. Except for I think he’s built like a sissy. He’s great in his role, and there isn’t much else to say.

Emma Stone is like the female Micheal Cera, in that she plays the same exact role in every movie, but it’s far and away from being a character you’d ever get sick of. My only problem with her is that she’ s built like a 12 year old boy. Would it kill women to have enough self esteem to get ass implants? 40 inches, no less!

All in all, it’s a really well done, really funny movie that moves along at an awesome pace, and even throws you a few plot twist that even a seasoned cinemaphile such as myself never saw coming.

* * * * 1/2 out of 5

Before this article gets going, let’s get one thing straight; Cameron Diaz was only hot in The Mask, and that’s it. Age does not do her stick-figure body and awkward face any justice.

Now, that being said, at least she can be entertaining.

Bad Teacher is the story of a gold digger who’s dumped by her recent cash cow, and has to return to teaching in order to stay afloat while she finds another sugar daddy; enter Justin Timberlake.

Say what you will about JT, but he’s just fine in this movie, and is actually pretty funny.

Jason Segel plays a gym teacher who’s got a thing for Diaz’s character, because she’s really just a laid back stoner.

Some comedies are really funny and entertaining, while others aren’t exactly funny, but are entertaining. Bad Teacher actually has the distinction of being both funny, and entertaining.

* * * * out of 5

Warrior was one of those films that didn’t get a major release, but managed to get a pretty large amount of publicity due to how great people thought it was.

I’m always a fan of underdog stories, as well as anything with martial arts, so I was set for this one.

The biggest question one always has when sitting down for a film like this is;

will it live up to the hype?

Most don’t. Warrior, well, it does a pretty good job of keeping up with the hype, but ultimately falls short.

The movie is about 2 brothers who end up in an MMA tournament with a pretty large sum of money for the winner. One brother wants it to help out a family of a deceased friend, and the other needs it to save his family’s house.

Nick Nolte plays their father, and was apparently a once great trainer, as well as a once great alcoholic who beat their mother. Both have nothing but hate for the man, but one of them has the old guy train him because he knows he’s the best.

The movie has a great frame, but it’s just missing so much. I mean, why was the father a great trainer? Who did he train? What did he train people in? Why was he such a miserable old fuck? How did both brothers get into MMA? There’s just a lot of unanswered questions.

Come the end, during the last few fights of the tournament, the film pretty much lost me. There were certain levels where I really had to suspend disbelief, and felt like it just kept dragging on and on, and on. It all just felt uneven, and I felt like they blew their climax about 20 minutes too early.

* * * out of 5


~ by Caliber Winfield on November 30, 2011.

2 Responses to “Minute Man Reviews”

  1. Reblogged this on hamzabook.

  2. That’s great….although, I’m not sure if you’re a bot or not. I’ll assume so? If not, who are you?

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