4 Movie Plots That Came True

Before we get into this,  I did not steal this article idea from cracked.com. As some of you know, I’ve been in talks with them to write an article. Well, an idea I pitched them was this one, they said they’d already done that, and gave me the link. I didn’t look at it, however, because I wanted to still do the article here, and didn’t want to be accused of ripping them off. Of course, because people are stupid, they’ll probably still think I did. Like after 3 years of writing original material, I was going to steal an idea that 1000’s of people have probably already thought of.

Besides, we all know Str8 Gangster blows cracked.com out of the water anyway.

Sometimes movies are based on real events.

This time around, we’re gonna have a look at movies that were originally fiction, but then became based on real stories.

So, if you’re ready to get crunk, let’s turn the volume dial to 7, baby. Spoilers are ahead, so don’t be a bitch about it.

September 23rd, 1994
Star[s]: Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman

The Film:
I’m sure everyone knows the film. Originally a tale by Stephen King, the movie is about the events that go on in a Maine prison over the course of 20 years, as a group of friends deal with a crooked warden & and a borderline psychotic whom is basically The Big Bossman.

Tim Robbins plays Andy, a man who’s been framed for the murder of his wife, and is now the Warden’s book-keeper. Being such, he’s become prevey to all the Warden’s illegal activity with the state’s money. As such, he’s basically fucked, and will never see outside of the prison walls because of what he knows. So, over the course of 20 years, Andy has been digging through the wall in his cell, and carefully plotting his escape. One morning, they go to check Andy’s cell, and he’s gone, as they realize that the posters he’s had of the “it” girls over time, have instead just been a cover-up for his awesome hole.

The Real Shawshank:
On December 15, 2007, Otis Blunt and Jose Espinosa were not in their cells, as once promised. After some investigating, they found escape tunnels that were covered up with posters of chicks. They were able to dig their way out with the use of two different tools; a thick metal wire they used to scrape away the motor between cinder-blocks, and a 10lb steel water-shut off wheel that they used to crush the cinder-blocks with. Once they got outside, they ran in opposite directions.

Alas, a little more than 4 weeks later Jose was discovered in a cheap motel in Mexico. While Otis Blunt was found in a basement, a cool mile from the jail. What the fuck. Not exactly the awesome ending we saw in Shawshank.

February 19th, 1999
Star[s]: Jennifer Aniston

The Film:
I saw Office Space 3 times in the theater. I loved it from the get go, however, the public wasn’t sharing the same affection that I had. Hell, one of my friend’s who’s a big fan of Office Space, hated it when we went to see it. It’s just one of those films that you love right from the start, and it gets better with each time, or you hate it, but it grows on you each time.

The story is about a man named Peter who lives a pathetic life, pathetic in that he hates everything about it, yet he keeps doing it. After getting hypnotized, he basically turns into me. He does what he wants, when he wants, so long as he doesn’t hurt or bother anyone else, and things end up kick ass for him. He gets a bit ballsy, and tries to scam Initech with a computer virus, an idea he got from Superman 3.

Well, as it happens, Peter and his friend’s fuck up, and end up taking a lot more money much faster than they intended. Well, a fellow named Micheal Largent must have always fallen asleep before the pivotal lesson is learned.

The Real Office Space:
Here’s the quote I got from a news site:

“Largent used a massive fraud scheme to trick Google Checkout and online brokers like E-trade and Schwab to send him the sum, a few cents at a time.  The fraud was made possible by a common practice relatively unknown to the general public.  When users open up accounts with these sites, the site sends a tiny payment from a few cents to a few dollars to the user.  The payment is meant to verify that the user has access to the account and that it’s active.

By opening 58,000 such accounts, Largent funneled money through the channels into a few private bank accounts.  Largent raked in $8,000 from Google’s Checkout alone.”

Man, what a brilliant bastard. He said what he was doing wasn’t illegal, and technically it wasn’t, except for he used fake names [mostly cartoon characters], fake addresses as well as fake socials.

The bank noticed all this activity and gave him a call, since he was feeling like the man, and thinking he was getting away with it, he told them all about it. The bank of course, being a bunch of pussies who were pissed they weren’t scamming awesome ideas from movies, turned the guy in.

July 15th, 1989
Star[s]: Andrew McCarthy, guy who played the Dr who got the saw blade to the gut in Friday The 13th Part VII: The New Blood.

The Film:
You know, I would have loved to be in the room the day this plot was pitched. I mean, people had to literally pitch an idea about two guys who tote around their dead-boss for a weekend. That’s the stuff dreams are made out of, man.

Basically, two dudes uncover a major insurance scam, and report this to their boss, Bernie Lomax. Well, Bernie is behind it, and arranges to have the two killed. So, he invites them out to his beach house for the weekend, as a way to celebrate them uncovering the scam. Bernie is instead double crossed and killed. The hitman injects him with heroin, to make it look like an overdose. Well, the two guys arrive to find Bernie, and instead of calling the police, like a couple of idiots would, they instead make it seem like Bernie is alive so they can use his beach house and get chicks!

Again, the greatest plot ever.

The Real Weekend At Bernie’s:
Two guys, David Daloia and James O’Hare, were probably wanting a few bucks so they could buy something bad-ass, like Funyons, beef jerky, or wrestling DVDs.

So, what do you do? Do you get a job, like a sucker? Hell no! You get your friend, who’s got a fat Social Security check of $355, wheel him down in an office chair to the Pay-O-Matic, and have him cash it! Look, it doesn’t fucking matter if the guy is dead or not. Is there a law that says someone has to be alive to cash a check? None that I’ve seen. My bank has never said that. You know, I hate shit like that. It’s like women, you know? You do something bad-ass, where you work around the rule/law, and then they go and bitch and moan, and say you can’t do that because blahblahblah.

What a couple bad-asses. They were arrested for this, but eventually let go, because they couldn’t figure out when in fact the guy died.

I hope they got to keep the $355. Awesome.

March 17th, 2000
Star[s]: Devon Sawa, Ali Larter, Sean William Scott

The Film:
Horror movies every few years will always have one awesome idea that get’s milked to death, then the next great idea comes along. It’s like clock work, damn near.

Right as the fantastic Scream trilogy was winding down, we got Final Destination. One fan-fucking-tastic film that’s basically a slasher with an invisible enemy. It’s such a brilliant and fresh idea. Having the vision, cheating death, and then having death come back after you is just so creative.

When Death finally started to play catch-up, it wasn’t like people were dying of heart-attacks or anything, we got an incredible array of deaths, and you were sitting, waiting to see just how grisly the next death was going to be. The bus death is still one of the greatest in horror history. It may not be elaborate, or creative, but it literally came out of no where, with absolutely no warning, and it was fucking awesome. I saw this in the theater, and that shit would have made me jump, if my body was capable of fear. But instead of fear, I got a double dose of boner-having-skills, and awesomeness.

The Real Final Destination:
Johanna Ganthaler a retiree from the Bolzano-Bozen province, was scheduled to take flight 447 to Paris with Air France Airlines. It never ended up making it’s destination, because it crashed into the Atlantic Ocean. When the black box was recovered, pieces of the pilot’s conversation were released, with one pilot, David Robert saying, “Damn it! We’re going to crash. It can’t be true!”.

Goddamn, that would suck so bad to know you’re going to die. I’d at least whip my dick out and run to the back of the plane.

Anyways, the women escape the clutches of death by missing her flight. But it didn’t last for long.

While driving with her husband on an Austrian road, their car swerved and hit a truck head-on. The husband was badly hurt, but survived, the woman wasn’t so lucky.

I mean, wow, she was meant to die. There’s just no way of getting around it. The husband, I’m sure is devastated, but he has to kind of chuckle about it. Now, every time he meets someone he hasn’t seen in a while it’s like

“oh…the wife passed? I’m so sorry”
“Thank you”
“Wait…she missed the flight that crashed, then died in a car accident just a little bit later?”
“*sigh*…yeah”
“…did she fuck God’s wife or something?”

I’m sure in a few years people I’ll be able to update this article, because the plot of Predator, or The Wizard is bound to happen to me here in a little while.

It just has to.

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~ by Caliber Winfield on December 10, 2011.

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