Top 4: Sequels That Aren’t Nearly As Bad As People Say

Sequels often get a bad rap, and people think they’re inferior without even seeing them, manly because people are really stupid. I love a sequel. Who doesn’t want more of awesomeness? Of course, sequels can be rather shitty and drag a franchise down, but I think for the most part, especially as of late, sequels have been kicking ass.

So, this time around I’m going to force you people to see the light on a few sequels that get a bad rap, usually because they’re part of a beloved series and have a fault or two in them that people explode out of proportion.

Released: November 6th, 1990
Star[s]: Stallone, Talia Shire, Burt Young
iMDB Score: 4.6/10

Stallone himself doesn’t like this film, so you know it’s one of those movies. I use to think it sucked myself, yet every time I saw it was on TV I was excited and I’d watch it.

Is it the weakest in the series? You bet cha’. Does it have a lot of flaws? From top to bottom baby. But there’s a lot here that’s worth it.

A lot of people complain about the fact that there isn’t a real villain that Rocky fights, that Rocky is poor again, and that we just watch Rocky as a trainer. These are some what valid arguments, but there’s just too much good to really dwell on all that, but I’ll get my own gripes out of the way first.

OK, the whole Rocky becoming poor again story line was really stupid. OK, so let’s say that it was even possible for Paulie to sign over power of attorney, and for a major celeb like Rocky to not pay taxes for 6 years and the IRS not once mention it. In the beginning of Rocky 3, we see him doing a shit-ton of commercials and other endorsement type deals. He just got done ending the cold war for America, and fighting the greatest fight ever had. He could do a million types of commercials, or endorsement deals. Him getting his cash back would have been no problem.

The only other real problem I had was the story-line with his kid. Forget the fact that when he left, the kid was like, 5, when he comes back he’s 14 or 15. Regardless. The kid is a bit of a whiner, and in no way a likeable or interesting character. His friends & girlfriend are just as unlikeable, and their aspect of the story reaaaaallly drag shit down.

Now the good. If we eleminate the whole kid aspect, then the movie kicks ass. Rocky trains this punk, who begs Rocky for a chance, and then isn’t nearly as patient as he should be, or willing to keep paying his dues. The major bad-ass, Duke, gets in his ear and gets the kid to sign his life away. The Duke is an awesome character! He’s a total snake, he uses these guys up until they’re nothing, and leaves’em on the road-side for dead. It’s great, because he’s not a bad-guy you know we’re going to see Rocky get in the ring, so knowing there won’t be a pay-off makes it that much better. Finally, we get the street fight, and it’s one of the coolest fights ever. Rocky goes toe-to-toe with the heavyweight champ, in the streets, and puts that bitch down. It’s fantastic. One of the best fights of the series, if not the best. It’s a film that’s definitely worth a re-watch.

Released: May 4th, 2007
Star[s]: Tobey Maguire, Kristen Dunst, James Franco, Topher Grace
iMDB Score:  6.3/10

People complain that there was too much crammed into this movie. That Venom was featured enough. Plus, the whole “Emo Peter” thing. For some reason, it’s all people dwell on, and gives them the opinion that it sucks.

Are they fucking crazy? This movie is fantastic. There’s so much action, so much well done action that pieces together a damn fine story. We get the incredible fight between Peter & Harry, this leads to Harry losing his memory and as the film goes we’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The effects with the Sandman were top-notch, and all the fight scenes with him were so much fun to watch. Not to mention that Thomas Haden Church was perfect in his role as Sandman.

Now, when I first heard that Topher was slated to play Brock, I was pretty pissed. Because first off, he looks just like Tobey. Didn’t anyone else notice that? Second, in the comic book, Brock is a massive guy. I was expecting them to either cast Vin Diesel or The Rock. Yeah, Brock was that big. Plus, he wasn’t this smarmy little twit, he was a brute kind of a dude who could never catch a break. Now, I’ll give it to Topher, he played his version of Brock well, and the scene where he asks God to kill Spider-Man was damn brilliant. And I will agree with the critics of Venom not being featured all that much, because he was kick ass in the film, and I would have loved to see more of him.

Emo Peter. I loved Emo Peter. He was a total bad-ass, and got what he deserved, instead of people walking all over him. When he slammed Brock into the wall and told him “You want forgiveness? Get religion” was one of the most bad-ass things EVER. Sure, the dancing and such wasn’t needed, but everything else was awesome.

It’s an action packed film that gives you the goods. So quit being a bitch, and watch it again.

Released: July 2nd, 2003
iMDB Score: 6.5 out of 10

People didn’t like this so much because they’re morons. They think part 2 is the greatest thing since blowjobs were invented, and they’re vastly wrong. You’ve all read my rant on that .

The story in T3 may not be the most original story of the whole franchise, but who gives a shit because of how damn well they tell it.

This film is CRAMMED with action. It’s non-fucking stop, man. The second the T800 comes on the scene, we’ve got awesome car chases with crane-trucks, shoot outs with shot-guns & plasma cannons, gunning it out with the cops while toting around a coffin, smashing up bathrooms while whooping the shit out of each other.

Now, they tried having humor in the 2nd one, but it was a bunch of kid bullshit.

“chill out, dickwad”

That isn’t funny. The Terminator wouldn’t say “I need a vacation”. That’s just asshole writing right there.

Now in part 3, they’ve got the humor down. Like when John & Kate are having a moment, and the Terminator tells them that levity is good, because it relieves the fear of death and such. Robo-cock blocking. I love it.

Sure, the TX isn’t nearly as cool as the T-1000, and she’s quite forgettable as a villain, but oh well. She does a decent enough job, while Arnold & Nick Stahl pick up the slack.

Released: May 22nd, 2008
Star[s]: Harrison Ford, Shia LeBouf
iMDB Score: 6.4 out of 10

People are out of their fucking minds if they think this film sucks.

I’m going to be a bit cheap, and just cut & paste a portion of my Indy review I did a while ago, because it sums it all up.

I get so pissed off when I hear some fat nerd without an ounce of wit, talent, or ability to burn a calorie try and bash this movie, when they couldn’t make a movie 1/1000th as good.

What is to hate about this movie?! It’s fucking incredible.

The beginning is one of Indy’s best, and a true star to an Indiana Jones style adventure. He’s running, ducking and dodging a ton of Russki bullets, swinging into trucks and hi-jacking them, having an awesome brawl with a commie, then in one of the most brilliant, and awesome movie moments; Indy survives the atomic bomb blast by hiding in a lead-lined fridge.

Hell yes! These poc-marked wanks who buy Halo helmets made a fucking fuss about this. Why? It’s fucking rad, and a total Indiana Jones style moment. My original quam was that fridges back in the day would lock itself from the inside, or, at least you couldn’t open it from the inside. But, when it gets sent that far and crashes so hard, it could have snapped made the door easy to open. I’ve done a ton of research, and although it’s a 1 in a million chance, almost like every thing Indy does, it is fucking possible. I never hear people scoff at Indy, Willie, and Short Round surviving a fall from an airplane by inflating a raft, then go sliding down a hill and survive a 50.000ft drop off a cliff and just land in the water with the ease of head-butting a girl who doesn’t have dinner ready. Head-butting with the car, that is.

It’s what Indy does, you stupid motherfuckers. He always survives by the skin of teeth, and it’s why we dig that bad motherfucker so much.

So much great action in this movie. The chase scene with Mutt and the commies, the grave-yard fight, the incredible jungle chase, sword fights and the like. Fuck the no talent hacks who do nothing but just dog on things because they think it makes them hip, and out in the left field. Shit, these pussies act like George Lucas broke up with them or something.

Although I must agree with everyone on the whole Mac situation. Man, that was just stupid. I mean, Indy’s in his 60′s & has a shit ton of experience. He’s a brilliant motherfucker who’s been around the block a time or two. So, he sure as shit wouldn’t trust Mac again. No way, no  how. I also could have done without Mutt swinging around like Tarzan, but oh well.

They played well on Indy’s age I thought, and he’s such a bad-ass he looked like a steak that lifted weights. Yeah, dig that.


~ by Caliber Winfield on January 7, 2012.

One Response to “Top 4: Sequels That Aren’t Nearly As Bad As People Say”

  1. I’d have to rewatch Indy 4, maybe I’d like it better than I did in the theater. I’m with you on the other three choices, though. I’d also throw Godfather 3 into the mix. Some people do point out that it’s a good movie, but that it’s just not on the level of the first two. I disagree, and think it’s just as fucking awesome.

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