A rockin’ rant from the Caliber man

From everything I’ve read, it sure as hell seems that MTV has made being a teenage parent something that’s cool, and sheek.

It’s fucking stunning that this is our reality. Our society truly has to be at the bottom of the barrel. We’re at the worst we’ve ever been, and I don’t see how the ship is going to even out.

We’re only going to get dumber. We’re only going to get more vapid. Technology is making everything easier, and stretching out people’s 15 minutes of fame into years, and years.

There are no role models. Who did girls these days have to look up to? Kim Kardashian? The absolutely perfect representation of everything wrong with life, being put out on a pedestal like she’s something to aspire for.

People often say that chivalry is dead. It’s not dead, but it doesn’t have anything to live for, I can tell you that. Women use to have class. Women use to know how to do things, like cook, make a comfortable home, be maternal, someone that a person could turn to for comfort. Then all of a sudden that wasn’t good enough, like being an awesome mother/wife/girlfriend just wasn’t up to snuff. But then they didn’t exactly want to bust their ass and earn things either. They just wanted to kick back and be taken care of. They want their looks to be enough.

Sure, I make jokes about how women suck, and are worthless and all that, but they’re just jokes. A bad-ass woman, who’s smart, tough, honest and beautiful is the holy grail. There’s nothing better in life. That’s something nothing can take the place of. But it’s like they don’t exist anymore! I often wonder why couples don’t stay together anymore like they did back in the day, and I think it’s because women don’t want to play the role of a woman anymore.

Probably because men don’t want to be men anymore. Responsibility is the corner stone of being a man, and most “men” these days don’t even have a corner stone. Just look at how many lawsuits there are. How many “men” there are being “paparazzi”. How many “men” talk shit on facebook. How many “men” are fat. I mean, c’mon, you don’t have to juice up or anything, but take pride in your appearance. Be a bad-ass.

Back before television, people sat around and talked most nights. People had to have talents in order to entertain, or the ability to carry on an actual conversation. Most “men” these days are too stupid or inept to entertain anyone outside their pathetic group of friends.

I didn’t have sex until I was 22. From 18 until then, a lot of people liked to try and use the whole “virgin” thing as an insult. How is that an insult? How is having a lot of sex impressive. The lowest form of living life on the planet can have sex, so what makes you so special? When I did have sex, it was with my girlfriend. She’d had sex with 6 different people at that point, and soon, I became the best sex she ever had. Now that, THAT’S being a man. Being able to satisfy the same woman for a lengthy period of time, and be better at it than all those who [no pun intended] came before you. Oh, and while you guys were having sex with random, boring women, I crafted writing songs and one of them helped a marine that I’d never spoken to before get through an entire year in Iraq. That’s being a man.

A guy who doesn’t blow up, or get pissed off at simple bullshit like being cut off, that’s being a man. Because you know motherfuckers make mistakes from time to time, because you make them yourself.

We have contracts, release forms, and all sorts of things because a man’s word, or a handshake, doesn’t mean anything. Trust. A man’s word, is the one thing we all have. The one thing we’re all born with, but most will die without it. Being honorable doesn’t mean anything anymore. You have guys slipping in a store and suing. You have paparazzi throwing themselves in front of celebrities car’s and making a scene.

No real man goes to a store, and then drives around like a bitch for 10 minutes trying to find a close spot. You’re a man. Park at the end of the parking lot, and let everyone marvel at the burliness that is you not giving a shit about having to walk. Oh, and if it’s raining, don’t you dare run. It’s fucking water, you pussies. Nothing looks girlier than you high-tailing it like it’s raining anal rape.

All men do these days is talk shit on the internet. Can you imagine Frank Sinatra, John McClane, or Sam Jackson talking shit on the internet? No. Only sissy-asses do that, and they have a never ending supply of it. If you ever saw them in real life, they’d be these fat, meak little sisses who sat there looking at the ground with their UFC shirt on. And if they even DID have the balls to talk shit, the second you knocked them out they’d call the cops and sue. Seriously, what the HELL happened? Back in the day, if you talked shit, you got dealt with. You didn’t do it again? Now a days, motherfuckers have carte blanche to talk as much shit as they wan. We need to stop letting laws, and being sued stop us. We need to start dealing with these pussies again. We need the one thing that keeps bitches like this in line, FEAR. They no longer have anything to fear. Well, we need to change that.

Men don’t want to work anymore. They don’t want to build up a career. They want to piss and moan about all the good stuff that everyone else have. Back in the 60’s, when the south was still being….well, the south, Martin Luther King manned the fuck up, and got to work. He got a good enough amount of people to boycott the bus system that caused such a dip in profit, that they finally changed the rules about blacks having to get up for whites. Do you think the pussies these days would do that? Do you think they’d inconvenience themselves for a second? Absolutely not. They’d want you to change your facebook picture in order to make change. Because Lord knows, if a person who beats their child sees that their facebook buddy changed his photo to a child, the man will stop and say “Mmm, I don’t think I’ll give JR a backbreaker today. This photo has truly changed my life!”. Kids these days want the world, and don’t want to work for it. How is camping outside WallStreet going to change anything? Why don’t you bitches get off your asses, go bust your ass, get some money, power, clout, and change things your goddamn selves? MLK wasn’t camping outside the bus stations with a sign that says “BUS STATION = FAIL”.

How many men know how to mow a yard correctly? Or know how to change a tire? Or hang dry-wall? These pussies want to pay people to do everything for them, while they sit around and bitch about people having more than them.

You know, woman decided that they don’t want to be homeakers anymore. They want to hit the workforce like men. Except for when it gets tough, then they want to be treated like women. Then they have a kid, because their entire life they’ve been attractive, and thus had everything handed to them in life. So, they haven’t learned any skills or anything, and thus really have no control over anything,because they’re incapable of doing shit. So, they have a kid, so they can claim their life has some meaning. Yet they don’t want to be a mom. They want to be the hot friend. So they never bother to truly be a parent, and beg to have a nanny so they can be lazy pieces of shit and not form a bond with their kid. Then they wonder why the kids don’t listen, and since they’re back to having no control over anything, they take it out on the husband, who was stupid enough to marry the bitch because she was hot. Eventually, they get divorced, because they’re both idiots.

Ugh. Writing about all of this is jacking my blood pressure so high that if you cut my neck, the blood would spurt out and hit you with the impact of a Ryu forward+down+forward+punch Dragon Uppercut.

Read this. Learn from this. Please, men, be men. Women, be women. It’s not a shameful thing to take care of a house, and your boyfriend/husband. Learn a few things, gain a sense of humor. We’d love you so much more.

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~ by Caliber Winfield on June 26, 2012.

3 Responses to “A rockin’ rant from the Caliber man”

  1. tl;dr

  2. Hey, Charles.

    Uh, is that suppose to mean anything?

  3. Charlie saying something is too long to read is fucking hilarious, the guy who LITERALLY wrote columns called THE WAY TOO LONG REVIEWS!!! God Charles, you are a fucking DOUCHE and all your bullshit writing didn’t seep over to your attention span, huh?

    I also think its funny that you make fun of Caliber for being nerdy, didn’t you do a review for some obscure sci-fi show, do “way too long” reviews of almost EVERY SINGLE major WWE PPV and write your shitty opinions about PS games?

    But hey, you’re cool right? Dipshit.

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