People should not be allowed to use the internet


The internet is home to two things: trends and stupidity. Actually, since those two are synonymous with each other, the internet is home to one thing.

There are some that annoy me;

·  People putting hashtags on things when they aren’t using Twitter.

·  People using Twitter

·  People posting a link to their Twitter comment on facebook

·  People posting unfunny memes

·  All memes are unfunny

Then there are ones that piss me off to the point it makes me want to kick them so hard in the foot it breaks their neck

·  A photo that says “If this photo gets 1,000,000 likes then I’ll blow myself!”

·  Guys who beg for pussy by commenting on a girl’s photo


I’m sure you guys have seen this by now. Talentless, attention-seeking suck-asses come up with some stupid prize they’ll get, or task they’ll do if said photo reaches 1,000,000 likes. There’s one I’ve seen that has a group of kids whose photo says “If we get 1,000,000 likes then our dad says we can have a puppy!” One that I saw recently said “If this gets 1,000,000 likes we’ll longboard across the country for cancer!”. Why should we have to like a photo that much for you to do something good? Why don’t you just do it? Oh, that’s right! Because no one is a fucking man anymore, or have any shred of self-respect, so doing a good deed and not getting showered in attention is pointless. I know if Facebook was around in the 50s and 60s Martin Luther King Jr. would have posted a photo that said “If this gets 1,000,000 likes then I’ll organize a bus boycott in response to the racial injustice! LOL!”.

This new trend is nothing more than pathetic assholes’ attempt to go viral in the laziest way. That’s all they want. They want people to pay attention to them, go viral, perhaps get on the news as “Plucky family wants a puppy so bad they went to Facebook for support!” and the jack-off dad would say “I was so surprised!” even though you know he set the whole thing up. So, now these assholes have the attention they’ve craved so badly, and they can tell all their idiotic friends about it. Their life finally has purpose. I mean, they could actually obtain a skill, practice a craft, and offer people entertainment or a service in order to earn their attention and adulation, but the hell with that. That’s work! That actually requires more than two brain-cells to rub together.

Honestly, I wish photos weren’t allowed to be posted on Facebook. Yeah, it’d be a bummer that I couldn’t post awesome pictures of things like Jean Claude Van Damme, or me flexing, but it’d be worth it. I’d no longer have to see stupid memes that are never funny, I’d never have to learn the political leanings of people, I’d never have learn that they “fucking love science,” and most importantly I’d never-fucking-EVER have to see the snarky photo with the bright color-background, old-timey image, and statement that indicates you don’t care about this or that and you want to hang out in a robe and you like to drink.

Lately, Facebook is doing this bullshit where anything and everything your Facebook friends do, they show you. I don’t give a shit what people do. I don’t care who they become friends with. I don’t care what photos they comment on. Quit showing me. They’ll show you when one of your friends’ friends comments on a photo, and that’s when you see pathetic lame-asses who beg for pussy commenting on girls’ photos. These girls are begging for attention, and doing their best to shove their tits in the camera, while hiding a good portion of their face and these douche-bag guys will post comments talking about how “sexy” and “hot” these girls look. That if they were their woman, they’d treat ’em like a Queen! Then, if anyone says something to the contrary, like said person looks like a slut, said slut flies off the handle-bars. See, she wants attention, but only the good kind. Have rapists-in-the-making continue to inflate the sense of worth she has based solely on her image is a-ok, telling her she looks like a tacky, attention-seeking slut is not.

Another thing I see is people with YouTube accounts who have “PLEASE LIKE COMMENT AND SUBSCRIBE!!!!!!!!” written in their video description. Look you worm, if you have something worthwhile, then people will keep coming back. This begging bullshit is pathetic. Actually, strike that comment about if you make a great product people will show up. Have you seen the most popular content providers? Fred? Ray William Johnson? Or videos like Chocolate Rain, and Sittin’ On The Toilet? It’s unbelievable the things that morons will listen to, and think it’s so funny they have to show everyone else. It’s absolutely shocking how dumb people are.

Also, I’m sick and tired of people who can’t type beyond that of a 5 year old and say “who cares it’s just the internet!! LOL!!”. That’s the dumbest excuse I’ve ever heard in my life. More people see you on the internet than in person. The internet is the version of you that will be seen by more eyes than anything you’ll ever do in real life. So, if that’s not a reason to type like a person who hasn’t had a pitchfork shoved into their brain, I don’t know what is. They don’t use proper punctuation or grammar. They spell like an idiot and refuse to capitalize proper things. Then, when you call them on it, they give you “its da internet!! your stupid 4 caring!!”. How do these idiots manage to breathe on their own?! When you work on a resume, do you just write “GIMMIE job I best for it other peple are stupid”? I mean, why bother to write like a decent human being then? It’s just a job resume. It’s crap like this that’s causing humans to become so stupid that we’re devolving. Excuses are the life blood of these morons. Quit making them. Stop typing like a blithering idiot, and learn a thing or two.

Finally, if you’re a grown man who uses “LOL”, please figure out how to make yourself sterile.


~ by Caliber Winfield on March 22, 2013.

2 Responses to “People should not be allowed to use the internet”

  1. Man I can add to this list of things that drive me up a wall. One of them is the countless pictures I get on my Facebook wall of guns. No why guns would you ask? It’s because the Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children redneck group keep saying Obama is going to take away their guns!

    This post made me laugh because everything is true about it. Not to be a troll or anything I went LOL the whole time!

    • Haha, thankfully I have a small group of facebook friends so there’s little to no non-sense I have to put up with.

      A new thing that’s pissing me off is when I watch shit on youtube and half the video is people advertising other shit they’ve done and telling me to subscribe, and like, and follow them on twitter, facebook, pintrest, instragram and everything else under the sun.

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