Monday Nitro – October 2nd, 2000 – Sebastian

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If I’m doing this I’m gonna need some coffee. I want to wish everyone a happy October and hope you’re all having fun, staying up late at night, and deciding that horror movies are more important than sleep. I know I am. October kicks ass, its the only month were normal people, who are usually only watching new movies, and new TV Shows, or things that have come out in the last couple years, take time to look back at older films, and the art of horror and such. Its a very fun month for me and something that Caliber and I both look forward to all year. Now, hopefully I can finish this quickly, repress it from my memory, and go back to reading, “The Rising,” and listening to Punk Rock.

The Filthy Animals come out with Disco Inferno’s “Disco Duck,” which, unfortunately is not a person in a duck suit but rather a plastic duck. They hang the Disco Duck up on the suspension thingy they use in ladder matches and Alex Wright, and Disco Inferno come to the ring.

1st Match: Konnan and Rey Mysterio vs Disco Inferno and Alex Wright Ladder match for the “Disco Duck”

The stakes are so high I can’t help but be totally drawn into the match. Rey and Konnan do some fast paced flashy stuff to take over about two minutes into the match. The match is really fast paced and the transitions are at the speed of a blink. They put Wright and Disco on a ladder on top of each other and Rey does a legdrop onto both of them. Konnan holds them while Rey goes up top the ladder and hits them both with double nut buster, legdrop Jeff Hardy type things. Rey then does this really rad spot where he ranas onto Disco and then onto Wright who’s on the outside. Disco hits Konnan with a Edge-like backwards bulldog. Rey comes back in, and powerbombs Disco off the ladder. Wright catches Rey on the ladder but Konnana catches Wright and drops him on Disco. Rey ranas Wright and Konnan grabs the duck.

2.0/5.0 I kind of want to give this match the worst rating ever but honestly it was a more fast paced version of a Money in the Bank matches and could’ve been decent given some time, but they compressed about twenty minutes worth of stuff into four minutes so it comes off as horrible. Disco and Wright attack Konnan and Rey, and take the Duck making the whole match inconsequential and unimportant.

We cut to Russo backstage. He’s saying that he proved he could be champion anytime he wanted to. However, he’s not a an athlete so he’s relinquishing his title and making a title match for the title tonight between Jeff Jarrett and Scott Steiner.[Note From Caliber: So Russo is taking the title and making a title match for the title so wrestlers fight for the title to have the title of the title?] I actually like this angle of Russo being a heel, but having Jarrett and Steiner wrestle is just stupid because you don’t have anyone to get into since both guys are heels. I think this would be a better angle if they were stacking the odds against Booker T or Goldberg, but they’re not really doing that. [NFC: Be careful what you wish for in regards to stacking odds against Goldberg, the Russomobile is just around the corner ] Russo’s just evil and you have no promise that he’s going to get his shit handed to him. Russo says that he’s a good man and because he’s such a man he’s not going to press charges. He then goes on about how he’s better than Goldberg, which prompts Goldberg to come out to the ring. Goldberg says the absolute stupidest thing, “You say you’re beneath me Russo!? Yeah, you are because when I see your face on the paper its in my trashcan.” Russo said that you were beneath him, you dumbass.

Russo comes out in a fucking Pope-Mobile with security guards, [NFC: SEE! I TOLD YOU!] and Goldberg dispatches the guards easily. Russo is right there, just sitting in his Pope Mobile and Goldberg, instead of doing anything to Russo, just stands there, and grabs a microphone. If you were so mad at him that you speared him through a cage last week, and took out his security guards WHY WOULD YOU PAUSE AND LET HIM TALK!? Anyway, Russo says that Goldberg has to beat his winning streak of 176 to get a shot at the WCW Title. That’s absolutely fucking ridiculous… which is what makes it so great. Russo really does work as the absolute douche-bag heel that you want to see die. Goldberg is probably, in kayfabe at this point, the best wrestler that WCW has. He’s the only one at this point, maybe next to Sting and Steiner, who could be held in contention with fighting against the WWF guys. I mean Goldberg’s the guy who beat Hulk Fucking Hogan when absolutely no one else in the roster could. He is better than 80s Hulk Hoan! He’s never lost a match cleanly, and is constantly killing dudes, if there’s anyone who deserves a title shot its him. However, Russo has a personal vendetta against him so he’s making him go through these ridiculous hoops. And you want to see Goldberg prevail because of his amazing technical skills and great mic ability…. okay just seeing if you were paying attention. You want to see Goldberg prevail because he’s a badass guy who could probably beat up people in shoot fights, [NFC: Except my boy Chris Hericho] and in storyline terms he rightfully deserves a title shot. So this angle works for me. The only problem is the added stipulation of, “If Goldberg loses he gets fired.” That leaves absolutely no unpredictability or edginess during this angle now because the only way to keep the angle going is to have Goldberg keep winning, unless they scrap the whole angle.

Russo is really funny here saying if Goldberg doesn’t get that smug look off his face he’s going to get his shirt off. Oh, I see the reason Goldberg couldn’t touch Russo, Russo’s in a fucking square made of bulletproof glass or something. Goldberg gets the keys from Borash and is presumably going to kill Russo when Ming, who’s like a 90s version of Umaga, attacks Goldberg from behind. Russo says that Goldberg’s wrestling Ming tonight. So you’re telling me that Goldberg will sell for fucking Ming, but not Chris Jericho? Fuck Goldberg.

Russo puts some guy named Mike in charge for the rest of the night.

2nd Match: A-Wall vs Reno(C) Hardcore match for the Hardcore Title

Oh yeah, this match is gonna be fun. Reno goes to the top but A Wall throws a garbage can at Reno somehow making him flop off the top. Wall puts a trashcan on Reno’s head and kicks his head. Cool spot, never seen that before. Wall sets up a table in the ring giving Reno a chance to get up and whack Wall with a kendo stick. They go to the outside and Reno starts jawing with some guy on commentary like a dumbass and Wall attacks him from behind, and sends him back in. Reno with a bunch of kendo stick shots and he goes up the top but Vito hits Reno from behind with his own kendo stick. Wall chokeslams Reno off the top rope through the table for the win.

1.0/5.0 Wasn’t much a of a match clocking in at about three minutes but it wasn’t horrible or anything, and made Wall look like a badass.

Mike is the guy who leads the Natural Born Thrillers and because of the interference he reverses the decision and gives the title back to Reno. That chick backstage says the main event has been changed to Booker t vs Sting, who are now the two main contenders. That doesn’t really make any sense, sure Booker deserves a shot at the title because he’s the ex-champion but what the fuck did Sting do? Shouldn’t Steiner or Jarrett get a shot if they were the contenders originally?

Shane Douglas and The Five Buck Tramp come out. Shane says the tramp is going to expose herself at the PPV, and then issues a challenge to Mike Awesome. Tramp says she wants to see her man in action.

3rd Match: Shane Douglas vs Mike Awesome

Awesome just kills Shane to start throwing him on the guardrail and pressslamming him. He sets a table up on the corner and is about to send him through it when Torrie Wilson flashes her tits in a bra at Awesome, distracting him long enough for Shane to get out and hit his finisher. Konnan and Tygress come out and attack Torrie, and Shane after the match.

DUD Could’ve been a good match because Shane and Mike are both pretty good, but it was fucking two minutes long, and the stupid Konnan/Tygress thing just made me groan. Why is Konnan mad at Shane when he was jumped by Disco and Wright earlier? LOGIC DOESN’T GET RATINGS!

Ming cuts a pretty passionate promo talking about how he has no choice in wrestling Goldberg tonight so he can stay in the company which actually builds a sense of desperation for him. Of course, I’m sure Goldberg will beat Ming and they’ll probably never bring up this characterization again. [NFC: Actually, Ming becomes the Hardcore Champion in a few months, and while he’s STILL the champion, he’s in the 2001 Royal Rumble. Vince just signed away their champion like that]

4th Match: Ming vs Goldberg

It really feels like WCW is trying to revert its programming back to 1998 in this show as they constantly are saying the streak is coming back acting as if that will be the Godsend for Nitro, and everything will be okay after that.

Ming hits some kicks but Goldberg hits a spear and the Jackhammer for the win.

4.5/5.0 I was thinking about giving it the full monty but it just didn’t have the certain something.

Kronic attack Goldberg for no given reason and that one moment takes away a whole years worth of character development. Yay, I get to see two of my favorite guys turned into heels so they can be sacrificial lambs to Goldberg’s NEW STREAK which is just a stupid ploy to pretend that its 1998 all over again. CHARACTERS DON’T GET RATINGS! Just ask Breaking Bad.

5th Match: Jeff Jarrett vs Booker T vs Scott Steiner vs Sting Tag rules Fourway

I’m so wrestling deprived on this “wrestling” show that if this is anything even resembling a wrestling match I’ll be happy. I actually don’t see how they could fuck this match up as you can’t really have anyone running in during this match because all of the main guys are in the ring.

Sting and Jeff lock and criss cross, Jeff lays down and Sting does a Goldust punch. Bulldog and a whip by Sting, and a Stinger Splash. Sting goes for the Deathlock but Jeff eyepokes out, and double clothesline. Both guys tag out and now we’ve got Booker T vs Steiner. I loved their 2001 last Nitro match so this could be good. Fans are behind Booker which pisses off Steiner. He goes to the outside to talk smack to the fans. Back in. Lock up and Steiner brings Booker to the corner. Chops and a clothesline by Steiner. Criss cross and Booker comes back with a sidekick. Steiner to the outside and he tags Sting in. That was the only time that Booker has every actually looked good, Steiner looked legitimately scared to wrestle Booker.

Booker with a headlock and criss cross. Sting fucks up an armdrag and has to redo the spot, and the second time he does it he stiffs Booker with it. Scott spits on Booker from the apron which is great because the crowd loves Booker and hates Scott. Lock up two with Booker and Sting, and Sting to the headlock but Booker brings Sting to the corner. Booker doesn’t give a clean break and hits some punches. Sting rushes into the corner but Booker puts up an elbow. Sting whips Booker but Steiner pushes the ropes down sending Booker to the outside. Sting and Booker fight on the outside while Steiner and Jeff are on the inside. Steiner with a sick ass press slam to Jarrett! Booker in and Steiner catches him with a backbreaker. Steiner with a whip and a clothesline, followed by the elbow, and pushups thing he does.

Steiner’s pretty great in this match, having him and Booker together is always great as both guys make each other look good. Steiner with kicks to Booker and Steiner seems to be running out of offensive moves here. Chops in the corner and Steiner goes for snake eyes but Booker gets out, and sends Steiner into the corner. Spinebuster to Steiner and Jarrett in. Jarrett with punches in bunches but he runs into a boot. Belly to belly suplex by Steiner. Full nelson but Jarrett gets out with a low blow. Sting in and he clotheslines Jarrett to the outside. Jarrett reverses Sting into the guardrail, meanwhile on the inside Booker and Steiner are fighting. Booker hits the Scissors Kick but because its not his finisher its not over. Booker goes for a kick and ko’s Steiner and the Referee. Jarrett hits Booker with a low blow, and Sting with his guitar for the win.

4.0/5.0 HOLY SHIT, that match kicked ass! Everything worked with Steiner and Booker working the best, as Steiner made Booker look good instead of a chump for once, doing this like tagging in Sting because he was too scared to wrestle him, and getting ko’d by a kick. Vice-versa, Booker did a great job of being a sympathetic babyface and there being a real doubt over wheter or not he was going to be able to conquer Steiner. The Jarrett/Sting stuff was okay, exciting but not really any story. The Sting/Booker stuff was pretty great as Booker had to kind of play the heel, by not doing the clean break in the corner, and getting stiff. Just really, really good stuff. This is the shit I want, and I’m glad that Russo let us have a hidden gem in a sea of stupid decisions and horrible, unmotivated character changes. This match blew me away and defied all expectations. If you can find this, check it the fuck out!

However, there is one big problem with this, the ending. Jeff Jarrett wins which means its Jeff Jarrett vs Booker T at the PPV. We’ve seen this match twice already! Yeah, it was pretty good when it happened but Jarrett is an uninteresting character and not someone I really take seriously as a threat. This repetitiveness is driving me to insanity, it like the situation of people who liked Orton/Cena matches. Yeah, they loved the matches but even they were complaining when they wrestled each other about ten thousand times from 2007-2010, and it was a million times worse for someone who doesn’t like them (me, sorry Caliber but their match at Breaking Point was the wrestling equivalent to torture porn) [NFC: LIES!]. I would much rather see Sting/Booker as that would be a great face/face match, or even better Steiner/Booker, as they mesh together so well and could make a perfect big guy/little guy match. However, I did just get a four star match on a show were I was expecting to be depressed and bored the whole time, so I’m not that upset.

Elix Skipper comes out, I’m just going to assume that the one great match of the night is my only present for a couple weeks so I’m just going to have to solider through the rest of this shit. Elix complains about… I don’t even know, he just complains that Americans think that everything’s a joke and shows some video that has Gary Coleman dressed up as Superman. Nash and Natural Born Thrillers come out, and Mike says that you have to powerbomb before you pin to win. And its a handicapped match…

6th Match: Elix Skipper vs Mike Sanders and Kevin Nash

Elix tries to come back but half of his moveset consists of roll ups so he can’t really do anything. Nash goes on about how the top rope stuff is stupid and unrealistic, and eats a dropkick from Elix. That was pretty funny actually, you always hear shit about how in a real fight you wouldn’t see dropkicks and ranas and shit, and it was somewhat funny to have that put in a humorous view. Elix makes a comeback for about ten more seconds, when Nash brings him down. Then takes time to talk about how Elix sucks because he moved to Canada to make more money, and then powerbombs him for the win.

DUD Horrible, didn’t put anyone over but Nash. This was the equivalent of Trips beating up Paul London and Brian Kendrick for no reason.

Nash takes camera time to tell people he’s going to take a shower. And then Natural Born Thrillers gets attacked by the Canadians. But the Canadians… we’re heels last week and now they’re good guys? What!? To quote the infamous Notorious BIG, “Fuck Yo shit.”

7th Match: Goldberg vs Harris Brothers

So almost all the tag teams are heels at this point. I’m sure they will be switched for no reason next week though. Goldberg beats the Harris Brothers with a combination of psychology, in ring technical ability, high flying moves, German Suplexes, and a continued use of weapons outside and working on the legs. Nah, just fucking wit u, diggty dogs. He does his signature moves really quickly and beats both of them, effectively burying a tag team that WCW has been building up all year. Fucking genius. They better not do this to Kronic.

Super StUD

Okay, I need to go over this because I’ve been ignoring it all night. David Flair has kidnapped some guy and put a rag over his head. He’s been really gently torturing him all night and then he brings him to the ring. I guess this is the guy who fucked Stacy. David’s retarded ass makes this guy promise to admit that he banged Stacy when SWERVE ITS BUFF MUTHAFUCKING BAGWELL! Fuck yeah! He fucks up David and hits the Buff Blockbuster. Well shit, if I was a chick I’d bang Bagwell over David too. There’s the obvious plot hole of how could David keep Buff Bagwell as a hostage and why would he turn his back to him, but its actually a pretty good way to reintroduce him.

Main Event: Jeff Jarrett vs Booker T 49er Match (There’s three boxes hoisted above the ring, one of them holds the title, the other three have weapons) for the World Heavyweight Championship, Default Champion right now

This match…. could be good but the stipulation is just so unique and it has no precedent so I don’t know. I trust these guys to give a good match though. And I was obviously wrong of this taking place at the Pay Per View, and I know people bitch about giving matches away on free TV but its a completely different match and these guy’s PPV matches against each other were about two months ago, no one’s going to order the show at this point.

Jarrett takes over to start and throws Booker around the guardrails. Chair to the stomach and Jarrett throws Booker in. Booker reverses a whip but… okay, one of the boxes fell off the corner of the ring and inside it was a sex doll. Madden, kind of disturbingly, tells someone to pick it up for him. Madden’s usually pretty funny but I think that’s a little off color. Booker gains control and gets one of the boxes, and finds a picture of Scott Hall! That’s fucking rad, I’d totally keep that and put it on my wall. Booker, one who doesn’t appreciate the art of Scott Hall breaks it over Jarrett’s face. Booker goes to one of the other boxes but Jarrett catches him, and brings him to the outside. He hits Booker in the face with one of the empty boxes, and then hits him again with it, this time breaking it over his face!

Jarrett rams Booker into the table and stomps him on it. WHAT’S IN THE BOX!? Jeff does the piledriver spot which Booker reverses into his own. Has a heel, other than maybe Randy Orton and Trips in his matches with Foley, ever won a table spot with a face? Booker gets one of the boxes and GETS A COAL MINER GLOVE! I actually love that because its a call back to those terrible, early 90s, Sting/Jake Roberts matches. Booker puts it on but Jeff crotches him on the post and takes off the glove grom Booker. Jeff puts on the glove and hits Booker in the tummy with it. [NFC: I find it fucking hilarious that putting on what is clearly nothing more than a gardening glove now gives you the punching power that’s equal to getting hit in the balls with Thor’s Hammer] Jeff wastes time taunting, but goes right after Booker with another shot with the globe. Jeff uses the broken box and comes off the second rope with it… and breaks it right over his face! Booker T is a badass! He has taken so many crazy spots tonight. Jeff goes to the last box which has to have the title but Booker catches him and rams him in the corner.

Booker goes for a dropkick but Jeff holds on to the ropes. Jeff with the Coal miners Glove to the face this time! This match is kicking major ass! Jeff with a whip and Booker tries criss crossing but Jeff catches him in a sleeper! This match is really fucking good so far, I’m pretty shocked how well they made the 49ers gimmick work. Booker fights out and a double clothesline spot. Jeff to the top and he tries to hit Booker with the globe but Booker catches him with a Book End! C’mon, grab the fucking title before Russo books himself to win again! Booker goes for the box but… Jeff grabs the leg. Jeff goes for the Stroke but Booker reverses into the Scissors Kick, into the sidekick and he goes back up to the box. Jeff… doesn’t really sell the offense though and lowblows Booker. Booker tries to come back but Jeff dodges under and Booker hits his groin on the ropes. Jeff looks around for something under the table but whatever he’s looking for isn’t there. Jeff hits Booker with an electric chair, and Jeff grabs the guitar but someone, or something is holding the guitar under the ring. Um, okay. Then Beetlejuice, the fucking midget comes and hits Jeff in the balls. Wow, thanks for fucking up a perfectly great match. Booker grabs the box and the belt for the win.

4.5/5.0 That was a great match full of suspense and they really made the gimmick work. I think Booker would’ve been able to win cleanly if Russo didn’t think midgets were so funny. Booker took some sick ass bumps in this match and everything was perfect minus Jeff’s nonselling of Booker’s finishing offense and the stupid midget shit.

Steiner runs down and attacks Booker hopefully setting up Booker/Steiner at the next show. Steiner than puts the midget in the recliner.

Final Thoughts: This show put me in a good fucking mood. Two great matches? I mean shit. The fourway was just perfect in every way and made me lusty for Booker/Steiner, and the main event was Booker/Jarrett’s best match together. They really made the gimmick work without it looking forced, and even Russo’s stupid sex doll and Scott Hall pictures, and Coal Miner Glove, and fucking midgets couldn’t ruin the serious tone and great story, and suspense of the match. Its like Russo went down a checklist of stuff to make the match bad and none of it worked. Booker and Jarrett were both really comfortable with each other, and the fans there were in love with Booker making the match work that much more. Great, great stuff that made Jarrett look scary for once while also putting Booker over as a credible guy who could keep on fighting even though he basically wrestled three guys and took the worst punishement out of any of them. The main problem was the ending though, it first shows how fast Russo can ruin something, you can have a great match end with a midget hitting Jeff Jarrett in the balls, and secondly it kinda made Booker look like a bitch because he basically had to cheat to win.

The main, main problem with this show is, while there were two great matches that you should track down, everything else fucking sucked big time. You had a horrible, rushed spot fest to start, Nash putting himself over for no reason other than he felt like reestablishing how cool he was. I mean, Nash is such a selfish prick, he gave himself the world title just so he could lose to Booker, just so he could say that he did Booker a favor. Now, it would’ve actually been a big thing if Nash hadn’t been sitting on his ass doing nothing most of the year. Most of the people watching at this time didn’t give a shit about him because he didn’t really wrestle, and when he did he fucking sucked. So Nash gets to go over an up and coming mid carder dude and somewhat expose how fake wrestling is by saying that dropkicks wouldn’t work in a bar fight. So yeah, this show still kinda sucks but hey, two great matches put me in a good assed, optimistic mood. If I have to sit through a couple weeks of horrid, boring trash to get to the good stuff I can do it.

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~ by Caliber Winfield on October 1, 2013.

3 Responses to “Monday Nitro – October 2nd, 2000 – Sebastian”

  1. Actually, since the belt fell out of the box and Dave Penzer had to pick it up to give to Booker, wouldn’t that make Penzer the champion?

    • I think we all know that if Russo had thought quickly enough he would have done it. And I can hear his explanation now

      “Imagine, you hear that a WRESTLING ANNOUNCER won the WHC! You’re gonna tune in! I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but that’s so freakin’ entertaining!”

      • To be fair it was a botch, Booker wasn’t supposed to drop the title, but yeah, I can totally imagine Russo thinking that would be a great idea that would draw ratings because he’s a fucking moron. I feel that logic is kind of ill though, what if the wrestlers are having a four corners match and the Referee touches all four corners? Obviously the Referee shouldn’t win the match, so no even though he grabbed the title belt he shouldn’t have won the World Championship.

        Though, if Russo really wanted to fuck with everyone he could’ve made the midget win the championship.

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