Saved By The Bell Archives – Mystery Weekend


This article completes the trilogy of episodes done outside of school, that ranged from hijinks in the mall while trying to acquire U2 tickets, and Zack Attack taking on the World. For some reason Jessie was absent from those episodes, but now she’s back in full force, bringing so little to the episode that I thought she was gone from this one too. Enough of this, lets get on with the murder and the mystery.

We’re welcomed to Norkwood Manner, and greeted by it’s owner, Steven Jameson The 3rd. Lisa is the contest winner, which is of course a rather giant shock. I would have bet good money that Zack would have been the winner. Hell, I’m sure the initial pitch of the script was Zack wins the free weekend, Zack is the killer, and also the victim, and he’s gonna be dressed as Robocop with a guitar who saves the day when he stops a real killer with a blistering solo.

Along with the gang we have a super old couple, Jameson, another younger couple, Janet the maid, a piano player, and an odd looking butler. Lisa orders a neon pink drink known as a mango tonic with a kiwi twist, simply because it matches her outfit. Jesse is told to sit by the piano player, who’s digging on Mamma. However the maid gets jealous, presumably because her hair doesn’t look like a Lion’s permed mane like Jessie’s, and spills a drink on her for revenge. Jameson gives the piano player his drink, and tells Janet to get him another. Soon after, the piano player takes a few sips and ends up dying. Everyone is excited at the first death of the night. People get dressed & ready for dinner, meanwhile, upstairs the maid hits on Zack, which apparently upsets the butler.

mysteryweekenddeadpianoEveryone meets up downstairs for dinner. The gang talk up details, and Zack announces he knows who the killer is. Once he claims that the butler is the killer we’re all after, said butler walks in with a knife in his back and drops to the ground.

mysterweekenddeadbutlerJames calls an Inspector, and once he arrives he begins to question everyone. Nobody has anything interesting to say, and because of that he knows who the killer is. However, just as he’s about to reveal the killer’s identity, he’s suddenly hit with about 10-15 arrows in the back when the lights turn out. This leads me to believe that Zack is the killer, because in this world, only he could shoot 15 arrows in a 2 second time frame. Once back on everyone gasps in horror at the discovery, while at the same time the female half of the old couple says her necklace has been stolen. Jameson reveals that this is not part of the game. Later, when the old lady is sexually assaulted, Jameson reveals that the sexual assault is in fact part of the game.

Anyway, after the necklace ordeal they hear the maid fall in the entryway. Once they walk in, Lisa moves Jameson out of the way of a falling axe that was part of a suit of armor, something that shakes her up. Jameson decides that this is just too much, and cancels the game. No one stops to revel in the fact that there’s a real killer here during a murder mystery game. I mean, I wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it. I’d insist we all go buy Lottery tickets or something.

So, everyone packs up and heads out to the car. Lisa accidentally knocks over Zack’s suitcase, and stays back to help him re-pack. While doing so, she tells him to head down to Jamison’s office to get free weekend vouchers that he promised. Once Zack arrives however, the place has been ransacked. Apparently, someone will kill for free weekend passes. God help Jameson if he keeps coupons around or something, few things scarier than a penny-pinching killer. Jameson, clearly shaken, says he believes someone is after the prize money. Hey, let’s not rule out the allure of a free weekend here. He gives Zack the weekend vouchers, and just as Preppy is about to leave, the lights cut out. Jameson screams, and when they come back on, he’s gone.

Just after Jameson disappears, everyone shows up to his office to find out whats going on, as Zack tries to explain. They check the envelope with the vouchers, and it’s actually the prize money. Everyone now thinks he’s the real killer, as Janet calls the po-po. Really, I’d question how it’s possible for Zack to be the killer without any blood, body, or murder weapon. However, if anyone could kill someone without killing them, it’d be Zack. Two Detectives show up, one of them a fat guy with gray facial hair, and the other a tall woman with shoulder pads so big you’d think she’s wearing football gear. It’s odd.

mysteryweekendshoulderpadsDuring the interrogation, Zack suddenly remembers Lisa, and that she knows of the vouchers as well, so they all head up to the bedroom where she was left packing. Once they show up, Lisa is gone, despite the fact Zack locked the room from the outside. They also discover the old lady’s necklace in his suitcase, and Lisa’s watch in his jacket pocket. Everyone decides to split up and look for Lisa, leaving Zack, Slater, and Screech in the room to figure out how Lisa got out. They soon discover a secret passage that leads to Jamison’s office. Here is where the show ventures out of the realm of believability, because in real life, no man simply sees a secret passage and is like “alright”. Fuck no. Me and my friends would have lost our goddamn minds, and talked about how cool it was for at least a year, and cussed out anyone who didn’t feel the same. Hell, one of us would have probably been the first guy to ever make a sexual advance on a secret passage, that’s how cool they are.

Well, they get to Jamison’s office, and inside it appears two people were having a bit of a celebration, as there’s two drinks & a cigarette. One of them is Lisa’s, while the other, along with the cigarette, has lipstick on it. Zack also notices Jamison’s clothes hanging on the back of his door.

Downstairs, Zack reveals to all. He first reveals Lisa has been involved from the get go, hitting yet another secret passage, in which she pops out. Zack then points out that everything comes back to Jameson. He then comes out with the reveal that Jameson is the killer. Poisoning his own drink, rigging the axe, messing up his own office, and finally, investigating his own murder. He posed as the female detective, and the once dead butler happens to be the other one with the grey facial hair. Really, I’m shocked as all get out that we never had the moment where someone thinks Jameson as a chick is super hot, and gets all sexually aggressive. I mean, c’mon, that was a comedy staple back then, and truly, something that’s missing from the sharp, brilliant comedy of shows like Big Bang Theory, and Mike & Molly.


~ by Caliber Winfield on August 13, 2014.

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