Monday Nitro – December 18th, 2000 – Caliber
We start off with Ric telling us that he has quite a show lined up for tonight, and that last night’s Starrcade was one of the greatest of all time. Man, it had to hurt him to say that. He declares that Buff has a match with Goldberg, and then refers to Sid as one of the greatest of all time. Man, it had to hurt him to say that. He says tonight he’ll announce just who Scott is going to defend his strap against at the next PPV, Syn. Which will take place in the year 2001, and as I’ve stated, WE WILL NEVER, EVER COVER A WCW EVENT FROM 2001! EVER! So, make sure and don’t expect that we will. EVER.
Your hosts are Mark Madden, Tony Schiavone, and Scott Hudson.
Shane Helms vs Shannon Moore
These guys are facing for a shot at the Crusierweight Title. Ooh, an advertisement for Backstage Assault. WCW games went from the greatest of all time, to literally the worst. The match is about what you’d expect. It never really got going like I was expecting, to be honest. They basically went through the standard motions of crusierweight matches during this time, and fell flat on a hot finish. That said, it’s still one of the better matches I’ve seen on Nitro for the year 2000. Helms hits the Vertabreaker on Moore for the pin, and secures himself a shot at the CW title.
Helms with the pin after the Vertabreaker at 6:16 | **3/4
Chavo, the CW champ, runs out for the attack and ends up eating a double-team move from Helms & Moore.
Steiner comes out, sporting a red chainmail…whatever the hell it is he’s wearing. Steiner starts rambling, saying things like “Ric Fair, when DDP comes out and says ‘Self-Five-Five!’ you send him down to the bush leagues!”. Apparently he wants to face Diamond. Flair comes out to tell Scott that at Syn, it’s gonna be a Three-Way Dance. Tonight we’re gonna have two pre-liminary matches. The winners of those matches, face in the main event, and the winner of that will be just one of the opponents. He also announces a mystery man that he’s hired who will appear tonight.
We get a paid announcement from Jimmy Hart, where he challenges any and all local Djs. Alrighty.
Luger & Buff are being interviewed regarding their actions the previous night against Goldberg. Buff says he’s sick of being held down, and that’s why he attacked Bill. Also, he’s formed a team with Luger known as Totally Buff. Fantastic.
Terry Funk © vs Meng – Hardcore Match
They spend the first couple minutes hitting each other with a trash can, and crashing into stage carts. Battling back to the ring, Meng sets up a table while giving & receiving shots with a trash can. Meng flies through a Funk-less table, with Crowbar coming out and hitting Meng with a monkey wrench, giving Funk the win. Madden asks “Hey, where’s his 70’s clothes?”, which, much to my surprise, doesn’t get him fired for having the audacity to question the sudden ditching of a gimmick/angle. He then demands Funk give him a shot at Syn.
Funk wins after Crowbar hits Meng with a wrench at 6:00 | 1/4*
Backstage, Mike runs into Crowbar and asks where the 70’s garb is. Crowbar says he ditched it because it almost ruined his career, and he needed his edge back. Mike says he understands. REALLY? Are you fucking KIDDING ME? We don’t know who was in the white Humvee, we don’t know what went on with Sting/Hogan at Halloween Havoc, or Hogan/Flair at Bash at the Beach, but they give us closure as to why Crowbar isn’t dressing like an idiot?!
Lance Storm vs Rey Mysterio – Pre-Lim Match
Rey has taped ribs due to the match from the previous night, so Lance naturally exposes that by working them over the bulk of the match. Rey is able to have a few flashes of a comeback with head-scissors, and top-rope guillotine leg-drops, but Lance has his number when he catches him mid-air and throws him in the Maple Leaf for the submission win. It’s a shame these guys couldn’t have had 15 minutes.
Lance wins with the Maple Leaf at 5:07 | **
Mike Awesome vs Jeff Jarrett – Pre-Lim Match
Awesome has Jarrett’s number to begin with, dragging Double J outside for a consistent beating, until Jeff turns the tide with a low blow. Awesome ends up dominating again, really looking to be above Jarrett’s level, but ends up, and brace yourself for this one, ends up eating a guitar shot. These morons could have drawn so much money with Awesome.
Jarrett nails Awesome with the guitar for the pin at 5:27 | **
We get a commercial for Glacier. If I recall, they end up mocking Glacier this time around.
We then get a clip of Goldberg on the Man Show, helping Adam & Jimmy celebrate Hanukkah.
Alex Wright vs The Cat
First time I saw The Wrestler it drove me nuts trying to figure out who Ram’s opponent was in the final match. I recognized the guy, but couldn’t place my finger on it. Thank God for wikipedia, because I would have never come to the conclusion that it was The Cat, who’d in fact gained about 50lbs. Yikes. For two guys who can actually wrestle & have entertaining matches, they’ve decided to wrestle a match with a lot of rest holds, and terrible back-breakers. The Cat wins with a kick to the face, and then dances.
Cat kicks Alex in the face for the pin at 5:55 | ½ *
Backstage we see The Natural Born Thrillers arrive in a limo, with Mike ordering hookers.
Steiner is beating up guys in the back, crushing the credibility of their roster, because God forbid he beat up stage hands or something.
Natural Born Thrillers come out, with Sanders cutting a pretty damn good promo. He says they were screwed at Starrcade, and they plan on getting their belts back.
Buff Bagwell vs Goldberg
This wasn’t really a match. Buff & Goldberg brawled for a sec before Luger showed up with a chair, then Sarge showed up and helped stave off of Totally Buff. Hell, not even the announcers know what the hell this is all about.
No Rating | No Time
Lance Storm vs Jeff Jarrett – Slot in Main Event of Syn
Again, these guys could have delivered, but we just got ourselves a standard match without any frills. It makes sense, because we really needed those 6 minutes that were spent on Cat vs Alex. Double J hits the Stroke for the pin, and a main event spot at the Syn PPV. Ugh. Look, Double J is a fine wrestler, and from what I hear a great guy, but this is seriously his what, 30th main event/title shot in a years time? It could have been so much more interesting if Lance Storm went ahead. One thing is for sure, I hope they never ditch the whole “Lance-Asks-For-The-Canadian-Anthem-Played-And-The-Faces-Music-Plays-Interuppting-The-Anthem-And-It-Pisses-Lance-Off-Because-How-Dare-They-This-Never-Happens”, because I never tire of it.
Double J hits the Stroke, Storm eats the pin at 4:43 | **
Backstage, shockingly, Steiner is super mad, and is out to attack Flair. Suddenly, a guy in a straight jacket and a mask attacks him as we end the show. I’m so bummed I know who that is.
Man, this show was boring as hell. It seems that the Nitros from 2000 can be summed up into two categories: 1] Boring as Hell, 2] So Bad It’s Insulting. There’s also the rare instance of a good show, but I believe that’s only happened twice. I can respect that they were at least trying to build a cohesive show that had real goals, with a show that built to a main event that meant something. Unfortunately there were still things like Cat vs Alex, Goldberg vs Buff, and none of the matches that were suppose to mean something, meaning anything or delivering in any quality.
Well, that’s it for WCW in 2000. We’re done. FOREVER.
So, don’t tune in on October 1st, 2014 and expect to see an update where we review a show from 2001. BECAUSE IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN. EVER. WE WILL NEVER, EVER REVIEW A SHOW AGAIN. EVER.