Monday Nitro – January 15th, 2001 – Sebastian

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I’m the one who’s going to have to cover a lot of the Nitro’s recently, so I’m going to try setting up a consistent schedule, by giving them to Caliber for editing. He usually takes two-three days, so they should be out every Thursday, or Friday… give or take a day or two. Anyway, I went onto the file containing the 2001 Nitros but am so stupid that I thought we were still doing 2000 Nitros. So I had a mild panic attack, and had to delete the pack I already had, and re-download it. Halfway through the download I remembered we WERE supposed to be doing 2001 Nitros, so then I had to delete the new pack, and re-download the pack with just the 2001 shows so it would seed faster. I tried restoring the files from the Recycling Bin, but they’re so fucked off they won’t play. So now I’m wasting time bitching about technical problems while I wait for this torrent to finish seeding. Fucking…. Shouldn’t have to do all this for Nitro… it’s really not worth it.

Oh, and Caliber made it so I have a swearing rule. I can only swear five times per review, and every time extra he’s going to send me weird pictures of him with his shirt off working out. And I already used my five, so expect a lot of freaking, and shiz, and jeez in this. We gotta keep it PG… darn it! [NFC: Yeah, and you completely forget this rule about 1 second into your review]

Well onto the show. We get clips of Sin from the night before to start off. We also get some exclusive footage of Ric Flair hugging, and slapping hands with Steiner and Animal (yes, Animal came back). Also, Goldberg’s career is over forever, and ever. I’m pretty curious to how long they’re going to keep this angle up. Schiavone then shows the footage of Sid screwing up his leg on the PPV, and mentions that it wasn’t shown on the PPV originally (note to Caliber, I didn’t think they edited it on the Network, the footage of it must come from this Nitro than… unless I’m mistaken and it does show up on the PPV). It is damn nasty, and Sid’s gonna be out for a while. [Note From Caliber: Huh…perhaps? I remember a tape being passed around high school that had the footage of Sid busting his leg. They even showed it in health class. It must have been Nitro, because I knew NO ONE who was watching WCW in that day & age, let alone paying for one of their PPV shows.]

Some guys come out, and bring a casket to the ring, and a picture on the Titantron comes up. Goldberg 1997-2001. Bagwell and Luger are in the ring, wearing pretty snazzy suits. Bagwell starts crying while Luger has to hold him back. It’s a pretty emotional moment, really. Honestly though, this segment is pretty ridiculous, and instead of it seeming like a dick move and they’re rubbing it into Goldberg, it seems more like a boring segment that’s not going to mean anything in the long run because Goldberg’s going to be back in like, two weeks. Luger starts cutting a promo, and my urge is growing stronger the more that he talks. CIG TIME! Its okay, I smoke inside now so I don’t even need to stop my amazing writing! How great is that?!!!!!

God I’m tired. After Luger’s boring bullshit, Bagwell gets on the mic and is a lot more interesting.Bagwell just pretty much talks about how great Goldberg was, and cuts a promo like he’s dead, and they both miss him so much. A lot of people hate on Bagwell, and its well deserved for the most part as he’s really only a decent wrestler, and a prima donna backstage, but he has great SE qualities [NFC: SE qualities?] that I think are pretty underrated. Luger asks if anyone else wants to say something about Goldberg, and Jeff Slapnuts comes out. Jeff Jarrett is a pretty decent wrestler, but he is the most boring person ever on the Mic. This gags starting to run thin, as Jarrett acts all sad about Goldberg, and acts like Goldberg’s died, and that Jarrett’s grieving about it. The fans just get tired of this shit, and start chanting Goldberg. This isn’t drawing heat really… it’s just such a boring, long drawn out segment that the crowd couldn’t care less about. Jarrett mentions that Goldberg never beat him, and also calls Goldberg a snorting, growling, dumb retard. It’s funny ‘cus its true.[NFC: If memory serves correct, I don’t think he comes back. He wasn’t even on the final Nitro. Of course, it wouldn’t surprise me if they asked him to show up at the final Nitro and he responded with “Ah! No way! Unfair! That’s my scheduled day off! Gosh! It’s bad enough I have to work a whole 100 days a year! You want me to make it 101?!”]

Then, just to keep the torture going, Steiner comes out. Jesus. At least we get to see Madjeah… Steiner can’t even stay on topic, and starts going off about Sid. Jeez, leave the poor guy alone, he’s screwed up as it is. Steiner says some other garbage, and then spits in the casket. Goldberg’s music comes on to fuck with the fans, and Ric Flair and Animal come out as we cut to the commercial. HOLY FUCK HOW LONG IS THIS SEGMENT GOING TO GO ON FOR!!???? IS THIS THE WHOLE SHOW???

We come back, and Flair tells people to put down their “channel-changer.” Flair than says that everyone in the ring is the greatest team of wrestlers ever… Jesus, what was Flair on? Pretty intense promo here but the crowd is just so out of it from this never ending segment, that it doesn’t really matter. Flair also goes off about how Steiner is someone you should look up to, and says that lots of women fantasize about having sex with Jeff Jarrett. He’s on coke, that’s what it is. Drugs were probably the only way to deal with how shitty the backstage situation was at the time, so it wouldn’t surprise me. Flair goes off about how great all these guys are here for a little longer, and then Kevin Nash comes out. It’s pretty sad when Nash is supposed to be the big, badass rebel. Summer of Punk, this is not. Nash says Goldberg is there, and then says he’s going to, “Drive a stake through Steiner’s heart, and take his title.” Flair threatens to have his lackeys kick Nash’s ass, so DDP comes out. I kinda dig Page’s revamped intro. And then… Rick Steiner comes to join the good guys. Jesus… Nash demands a title shot against Steiner tonight. Flair refuses to give it to him, so Ernest Miller comes out just to complicate things even further.

Despite the horribleness of this segment, one pretty good thing has been achieved. With Nash randomly challenging Steiner to a match for the title, they’ve injected a bit of unpredictability and excitement into the show, as its two big time wrestlers going against each other for the title, and if you don’t watch Nitro you’re going to miss it. The wrestlers in question are terrible, yes, but the point is that its adding a sense of scale to the proceedings, that isn’t usually there. It feels like a main event, instead of just being one, if that makes any sense. Anyway, Miller gets the fans to cheer for the proposed match, and they go crazy for it, and Miller sets up the match.

Daffney is hotttttt. Flair tries to get Crowbar to join his team, and tells Crowbar to sex up Daffney ‘till she’s screaming all night.Caliber…. we’re you writing Flair’s dialogue for this episode? [NFC: You need to look up the clip where Daffney reveals herself to be a secret admirer of a Knockout. Man, she’s so insanely hot.]

1st Match (finally): Chavo Gurrerro vs Crowbar w/ Daffney

Crowbar with chops and a whip. Chavo gets out of that with a kick, and a nice rana. Dropkick that sends Crowbar into the corner. Chavo with some of his own chops in the corner. Crowbar reverses with a whip but runs into a boot, and eats a rana from the top. Chavo does those high spots so much that they lose their impact, really. Crowbar bails to the outside, but Chavo could care less, and jumps onto Crowbar on the outside from the top rope in a pretty cool spot. Crowbar finally wrings Chavo on the ropes, and hits a nice Lionsault for two. He then does Jeff Hardy kick in the balls/legdrop thing. Crowbar with chops, and punches to poor Chavo in the corner. Chavo’s had enough of this shit though, and shows him how to chop LIKE A MAN! Chavo gets caught in a Fireman’s Carry, and Crowbar FU’s Chavo for two. Crowbar brings Chavo to the top and goes for a rana off the top, but Chavo holds on causing Crowbar to eat it. Chavo goes for a DDT off the top but Crowbar reverses. Chavo with a drop toe hold, and Chavo goes back up. DDT attempt but Crowbar reverses into a Northern Lights Suplex for two! This match kicks ass!

They do a pretty cool botch spot were Crowbar tries to backdrop Chavo to the outside but Chavo accidentally gets stuck on the ropes, and it looks pretty sick. Crowbar comes off the apron with a frogsplash! This match is kicking so much ass, I’m pretty impressed with Crowbar here. Crowbar throws Chavo back in the ring… but decides to say fuck this wrestling shit, [NFC: What, did it take you like, 10 seconds before you completely forgot about the swearing limit?] and grabs a chair. He sets it up on the outside, and in a sick spot, Chavo comes off the apron and slams Crowbar’s face on the chair! Chavo hits the Brain Buster for the win.

4.0/5.0 Sweet match, with the story being, can Crowbar keep up with Chavo, and the answer was a definite yes. I almost wish Crowbar didn’t have the angle of being a hardcore moron, because he looks like a great wrestler. Also, I loved the whole size thing in this match with Chavo coming off as a natural underdog, and there being some real suspense to who would win this. I also loved that the result was a bit in question, it sets up the question, if Crowbar didn’t try to go all hardcore in this match and focused on Chavo, could he have beat him? Really well done.

2nd Match: 2 Count vs Filthy Animals

Shane and Shannon take out Kidman, and team up on Rey with a double powerbomb for two. Kidman comes in, and starts kicking the shit out of Shane. Shannon breaks it up, but Rey kicks him in the balls, and the Animals gain the advantage. Moore does a pretty rad spot were he jumps from inside the ring to the outside onto Kidman. Everyone starts jumping onto each other on the outside. This could be a pretty cute spot fest, really. [NFC: I’ve never heard anyone refer to a wrestling match as “cute”.] Rey and Shannon fight it out on the apron, and Rey backdrops Shannon and Shannon fucking flies in a huge bump to the outside! Kidman hits a huge rana from the top rope to Shane for two. Shane kinda no sells it two seconds later, and hits a super kick and goes for the Verta-breaker, but Rey breaks its up. Kidman reverses into the Unprettier for the win.

3.0/5.0 Pretty fun, fast paced spot fest.

Team Canada comes down to attack the Animals… not really sure why considering Team Canada actually won last night. Storm challenges Kidman to a hair vs hair match between Kidman and Awesome. Kidman says why not right now, but Storm wants to do it later tonight. I really love the unpredictable, just setting exciting matches deal on this show. It’s very late 90s Raw.

Kronik tell Ernest Miller they’ll do what he wants for free. They probably ran out of beer, and cigs, and are bored, and want to kick some ass because they’re super fucking cool.[NFC: What, are you up to like 106 swear words now?] Flair tries talking Chavo into joining Team Flair. Chavo doesn’t join, but does promise to have drinks with Flair later. I wish they’d film that vingtee,[NFC: I’m leaving that error as a lesson in proof reading, and because it’s really funny. The word you want is vignette.] could be pretty entertaining if done right. Lol, Bagwell and Luger talk to Erection, and Luger call Ric Flair, Ric Flanders on accident.

3rd Match: Kronik vs Sean O’Haire and Chuck Palumbo © for the World Tag Team Titles

Again, I’m loving the random title matches on this show, really adds a sense of importance and urgency to the whole thing that most of these episodes have been sorely lacking. Bryan pushes Chuck into the corner and throws him right out of the ring. Clarke COMES OFF THE APRON WITH A SOMERSAULT FLIP!!! HOLY CRAP!!! Adams in the ring with Seanny, and Sean does a sick spot were he jumps over the ropes behind Adams. Sean punches the stuffing out of Adams, but Adams dodges one and hits a nice Full Nelson Suplex for two as Palumbo breaks it up. Clarke in, and he peppers Sean with some sick sounding chops. Clarke with a nice backdrop suplex, and some stiff elbows for two. Every match on this show has been kicking ass so far, minus that first segment this is a pretty damn good show so far.

Palumbo gets in but eats a big boot and a nice Fisherman Suplex from Clarke. Clarke hits a clothesline to Sean but eats a super kick from Chuck Palumbo. Palumbo and Sean totally ignore the Ref and just kick the crap out of Clarke. Sean back in, and they throw Clarke into the corner together. The heat sequence here is pretty funny as the heels aren’t cheating at all subtly, and keep on coming in illegally, and the Ref isn’t doing anything, but whenever Adams tries to come in the Ref won’t let him. Clarke hits a DDT out of nowhere and tags in Adams. Adams is a house of fire, [NFC: Yeah, with those shirts he sure is flaming alright.] and takes out both guys. Clarke sends Palumbo to the outside with a suplex, and they do the double chokeslam for two as Palumbo breaks it up at the last second! Damn, I actually wanted them to win pretty badly. Two big buff, oily guys come, and Adams is so disgusted that it allows Palumbo to get to the top. Adams goes up with him and goes for a superplex, meanwhile on the outside the oily dudes are beating up Clarke. Adams hits a superplex and has it won, but Sean hits a Swantom and Palumbo rolls over for the win.

3.5/5.0 Pretty fun tag team match, with an old school build up with the heat sequence being built up pretty well… if a little bit unrealistic. Also there was a lot of excitement and unpredictability toward the end, and the Thrillers looked pretty good in this match for once.[NFC: You must not have seen very many tag matches, because the Thrillers, be it the Perfect Event, or O’Haire & Palumbo, are fantastic.]

4th Match: Konnan vs Mike Awesome Hair vs Hair Match (If Konnan loses Kidman gets his hair cut)

[NFC: It would have been funny if The Animals were able to convince Team Canada to allow them to put Konnan’s hair on the line.] Kidman was attacked earlier in the night, so Konnan is subbing for him. Awesome just kills Konnan to start, and brings him to the outside, and just tosses him around in the guardrail. Awesome with a nice chairshot to Konnan. Awesome’s not fucking around, as he grabs the steel steps and comes off them but runs into a chairshot from Konnan! I don’t know if its because I’m tired or what, but this Nitro is kicking ass! Back in the ring, and Konnan runs into a clothesline from Awesome. Awesome goes for the Razor’s Edge, but Konnan gets out and hits a facebuster for two. Konnan tries going for a powerbomb, but Awesome remembers Konnan’s tiny, and just throws him off. Awesome goes to the top, and hits a frogsplash for…. Two. Damn, I thought that was it. Awesome’s not very happy, and goes back up top for another frogsplash, but Konnan catches him up there. They fight on the top and then do a sick botched DDT off the rope, and Konnan gets the win!

3.5/5.0 Another fun match, Konnan is such an underdog as he never wins anything and I didn’t really figure they were going to cut Kidman’s hair, but there was still a decent amount of suspense in this match, and it made it really fun. Also, the crowd was really hot, and these two meshed together really well.

Konnan cuts like two strands of hair, but then runs away because Team Canada comes to save Awesome. Chavo tries to make peace with Erection, but Erection is busy. Lol, a commercial for AOL. Who the fuck uses AOL anymore? That shit was outdated even in 2002.[NFC: At this point were you thinking I said ‘swear as much as you can’?] This show is already an hour in, and it’s been going by so fast it doesn’t feel like it at all! I’m pretty blown away by how much fun this show has been.

5th Match: Ernest Miller vs Bam Bam Bigelow

I think the good match streak might end here. Bigelow tosses Miller around like a rag doll. Backdrop suplex from Bigelow for two. Bigelow chokes out Miller on the ropes, and hits an Avalanche in the corner. Ernest no sells and hits an uppercut, and dances a lot. Elbow by Miller, and whip followed by a big boot… for the win.

2.0/5.0 Not bad I guess, but it was just so short, and its kinda sad that Bigelow is such a non-factor, and that he’s not even close to a threat anymore. I’m assuming that its possible this match had more time, but since the show is about to end they might’ve ended it early.

6th Match: Shane Douglas © vs Erection for the United States Championship

Not this again. Maybe they’ll keep it short enough for it be good…. Maybe. Erection is a house of fire, and clotheslines Shane like crazy. They get into a slugfest and Erection wins it. Erection chokes out Shane on the ropes, which is a pretty stupid spot to do for a face. Then Erection just straight up stands on Shane while he’s on the ropes! Ouch! Erection with a scoop slam and he’s going to the top. He goes for an elbow but misses, and Shane knees Erection in the face. Shane with a perfect Fisherman Suplex. Shane goes for a chain, but Erection’s back up, and hits a HUGE presslam. Erection grabs Shane’s chain, and just throws it to the outside. Erection starts choking out Shane, and Chavo comes out of freaking nowhere, and hits Erection with the chain, giving Shane the win.

2.5/5.0 Pretty decent actually, but the problem is, due to its short length and fast paced story, it made Shane look so weak, and that he only won because Chavo was there.

Main Event: Scott Steiner © vs Kevin Nash for the World Heavyweight Championship

Steiner brings Nash to the corner, and punches the crap out of him early on. Nash reverses a whip and knees Steiner in the corner. Punches in bunches, and a clothesline.Big elbow drop for two. Nash sends Steiner to the outside with a clothesline. I actually like how strong Nash looks here, because Steiner has been made to seem so invincible lately. It’s nice to see him vulnerable, even if it’s only for a bit. Nash gets low-blowed on the outside, and Steiner brings him back in. Steiner with a nice belly to belly suplex for two. Steiner with some boots to Nash. Clothesline to Nash, and an elbow drop as Steiner does push ups. Steiner brings Nash to the corner, and hits him with some chops. Steiner does a backbreaker where he kinda holds Nash up for a while. Backbreaker submission setting up for the Recliner. Nash starts to Hulk Up and the fans are into it! Nash gets out, and gets some punches and a sidewalk slam for one as Nash is too injured to capitalize. Nash back up with punches in bunches and a huge snake eyes! Steiner tries to beg off but Nash doesn’t care. Big boot by Nash, and he sets up for the powerbomb. And then Team Flair comes out to attack Nash and the Ref calls a DQ.

Team Flair team up on Nash and kick the shit out of him, but then Team Nash comes, and the show ends.

3.5/5.0 Really well done main, they kept it short enough to cover for each others weaknesses and told a good story with some suspense, and the crowd was eating it up. I also love whoevers writing the show right now because they are basically doing 90s Raw, and doing it really, really well.

Final Thoughts: BEST NITRO YET!!!! Everything was good to great on this show, and was, minus the first segment, really freaking fun. I love that they’re making things important, and also setting up cohesion, and interesting feuds to carry onto the next show. Some good shit, I’m very pleasantly surprised. [NFC: Damn, I’m gonna have to download this bad bitch and give it a looksee.]

 

 

 

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~ by Caliber Winfield on November 22, 2014.

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