WCW Monday Nitro – January 20th, 1997
We open up with Macho Man coming from the crowd and into the ring. He hasn’t been seen since Halloween Havoc, and says he ain’t leaving the ring until he speaks to someone that’s got some stroke. And Bischoff can kiss his ass. Chavo comes out for his match, and tries to talk Macho down. All that earns him is punch to the jaw. Maxx Muscle tries his luck and is able to go home with an autograph from Macho Man. And by autograph, I mean repeated punches to the face. Other wrestlers come out, but people are too afraid to get in the ring. That is, until The Stinger comes around. He taunts Macho with the bat, then hands it over and turns his back to him. For whatever reason, this causes Macho to leave with the Stinger.
Chris Jericho vs Alex Wright
Nothing really gets off the ground, as the match barely goes 2 minutes. Jericho wins with a roll-up outta no where.
Roll-up gets the win for Jericho at 2:16 | *
Fake Sting vs Scotty Riggs
I still stand behind the statement that American Males is the worst song ever. Again, not much goes on, as the match is so short. The nWo comes in to beat up Riggs, but with Buff only landing a few shots before he disappears into the crowd. The announcer attempts to announce Riggs the winner, but the nWo force him to say that “Sting” has won. You guys remember in the WCW vs nWo World Tour video game they had Sting and “Sting”? For some reason I was always so amused that it was in quotation marks, and that there was even a need for a fake Sting in the game.
Somebody won via DQ at 2:49 | *
Mongo & Arn vs Eddie Guerrero and Jeff Jarrett
Short, but hard hitting, and a bit odd. Eddie disappears about 2 minutes into it, and then when Arn puts Double J into a Boston Crab, Deborah throws in the sash for him, despite not being on his team. The ref calls for the bell, and despite the win, Arn isn’t all that happy with the choice.
Horsemen win via submission at 3:35 | *1/2
Dean Malenko vs Ultimo Dragon [C] – WCW Crusierweight Championship
Apparently they’re gonna have a rematch on the Clash of the Champions the following night, which I’m looking forward to, because this was solid. These guys were crisp, in the pocket, and hard hitting. Unfortunately, just as things were getting started, Ultimo rolled Dean up with the Magistal, which is a pin technique originated in Mexico.
Ultimo wins at 4:18 | **
William Regal [C] vs Jacques Rougeau w/ Col. Robert Parker WCW TV Championship
The match goes less than 2 minutes as Col Parker decided to get in and try and nail Regal with a riding crop. Didn’t work.
Regal wins via DQ at 1:54 | *
Chris Benoit vs Kevin Sullivan
About a year ago, maybe longer, these guys had a Falls Count Anywhere match that was highly, highly regarded, partially because they did things no one else did, like fight in the bathroom.l However, ever since they had the match they keep doing it over and over again, and always go to the bathroom at first. It’s obnoxious. They work their way back down and have the rest of the match in the ring, although what remains is very short. It all ends with a pretty sweet moment when Jimmy Hart hands Sullivan the ring bell, and when Benoit does a Flying Headbutt, Sullivan holds up the bell, which Chris eats at full force, allowing Sullivan to get the pin.
Sullivan clocks Benoit with the ring bell, allowing him to get the pin at 7:00 | **
Carl Oulette w/ Col. Parker vs Jim Duggan
Oh please, please please be quick. Thankfully, my prayers were answered. However, I’m still really fucking annoyed. I mean, Duggan wraps his fist in the most ridiculous fashion, by spinning the tape really, really high, with the ref needing to be DEAD to miss it, and then clocks the guy and pins him. OK, so why the HELL is that legal?! How is that any different than using brass knuckles? This guy is suppose to be the spokesperson for WCW, you know, the anti-nWo, and the asshole wraps his fist until it’s the size of Dr. Claw from Inspector Gadget to win his matches.
Duggan wins with the taped first at 1:02 | *
Masahiro Chono vs Dave Taylor
Taylor controls the large portion of the match with a few double-axe handles, and some Euro uppercuts. He does what he can, but then Masahiro slaps on the STF and that’s all she wrote. Out of 8 matches thus far, only two have broken 3 minutes. I don’t remember Nitro being this brief with them.
Chono wins with an STF at 2:27 | *
Booker T w/ Sister Sheri vs Scott Hall
This match didn’t look to add to the collection of post 3-minute matches. Not much went on here, Booker looked to hold his own, but was getting screwed with by Nick Patrick. He came out a match ago when Hall, Bischoff, and DiBiase took over the commentary table. Nothing wrong here.
Hall wins with The Outsiders Edge at 2:49 | *
Stevie Ray vs Lex Luger
There has been a very familiar formula over the last 3 matches. Luger was pretty much getting his ass kicked the whole time, but then he hit a powerslam and finished off Stevie Ray with the Torture Rack. As an addendum to that, I’ve been in the Torture Rack before, and it fucking hurts. I also gotta say, I’ve always dug Bischoff as a commentator. Even when he was in the nWo and did commentary he’d still put over WCW guys instead of just burying everyone. Too bad he didn’t do that in real life as well.
Luger wins with the Rack at 2:21 | *
Hogan comes out and runs down the Giant. He also talks about how when they were flying into the airport last night, there was some mechanical problems, so he punched holes on each side of the first class section, stuck his pythons out, and used them as wings to land them in safety. Thus completely making this promo fucking awesome. The Giant comes out to confront him, but about 8 security guards hold him back, and we all know where this is headed. Eventually he ducks down and does the “explosion!” sorta deal that sends everyone flying, and as he reaches the ring, we run out of time. Man, shit like that use to piss me off SO badly as a kid.
Over-All: Eh, not a bad show, but pretty mundane. None of the matches really stood out, and there wasn’t much in terms of angle progression. At first I thought that was pretty lame considering this is the go-home show to Souled Out, but then I remembered that Clash of The Champions is the following night, where I imagine they’re going to push Souled Out pretty heavy, we’ll see. Next u p is Clash, then it’s on to Souled Out, buckshots. Stay tuned.