WCW Monday Nitro Review – March 6th, 1997
Coming from Atlanta, GA this evening.
From now on, I don’t rate matches that are 3 minutes or less. However, if something manages to suck real, real bad under 3 minutes or dazzle the senses, I’ll rate it.
The show opens with a Monday Nitro Limo Hummer showing up, and the nWo getting out. Man, they just look so less threatening when they have Wallstreet and Vince in tow.
Hugh Morrus & Konnan vs Mongo & Double J
They work over Double J until Hugh accidentally hits Konnan with the moonsault, allowing Double J to tag in. Mongo cleans house until Public Enemy shows up to screw with Debra and Double J, as they face Public Enemy at Uncensored and Mongo accidentally gets clubbed with the briefcase, allowing Konnan to get the pin. I will say, nobody falls in fake unconscious like Mongo.
Konnan wins after Mongo gets slugged with the briefcase at 3:10 | *1/2
Mongo got busted open pretty good from the shot, and the cameras are doing everything they can to avoid shooting him.
DDP vs Rick Fuller
Rick Fuller looks like Kane if he had long hair and a goatee, oh, and not much muscle. Fuller controls a bit at the beginning until, as always, DDP hits him with the Diamond Cutter. Standard DDP match, he’s over like crazy at this point. I hate the fact the Network fucked with his theme, it sounds terrible.
DDP hits the Cutter for the pin at 2:05 | NR
Juvi Guerrera vs Ray Mendoza JR
Mendoza is wearing Villanos IV’s ring gear, sans the mask. C’mon, man, Batman didn’t fight crime without the mask on and call himself Bruce Wayne. This match is a bit clumsy as Mendoza just doesn’t seem to be up to the speed or skill of Juvi. They do an alright job, but not what you normally expect. Juvi goes for his 450 splash, but lands on Ray’s knees, which I imagine would suck. However, it’s enough to take out Mendoza.
Juvi hits the 450 Splash for the pin at 5:04 | *1/2
Taskmaster & Jackie come out for a promo, same ol’ same ol’ about Benoit sucking. However, this one ends with them revealing Jimmy Hart’s jacket having a picture of them on the back that says “Too Legit To Quit”. Seriously, WHAT IN THE BLUE FLAMES OF HELL? Between Teddy Long saying it when Ice Train comes out, and now them, I mean, do southern based wrestlers get trends when it’s 5 years too late? Are there people in Atlanta right now thinking to themselves that this Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch got a real chance at making it?
Mike Enos vs Dean Malenko
These cats had a pretty good match a while ago, here’s to hoping they have another. Dean works Enos’ left knee for the majority of the match, with Mike able to fend him off with a few flashes of offense, but it all comes to a quick end when Dean catches him with roll-up. Also, kudos to Mike for selling the leg all the way to the back, I always appreciate that.
Dean wins with a roll up at 4:28 | **
Bischoff comes out to say that he accepts Luger’s offer for the match up at Uncensored. WCW’s team for nWo’s team. Harvey Schiller comes out, the President of Turner Spots, and says that Bischoff is now suspended, obviously allowing him zero power in WCW. I have zero idea as to why this was included in the Best of Nitro Set.
Ultimo Dragon w/ Sonny Ono vs Eddie Guerrero [C] – WCW US Championship
Always been a Sonny Ono mark, the creator of the selfie. The crowd starts to chant USA, since Dragon is the heel, despite the fact Eddie is clearly French. The match doesn’t get a chance to really get anywhere, as Eddie has him pinned in about no time with his feet on the ropes.
Eddie wins by putting his feet on the ropes during the pin at 2:48 | NR
VK Wallstreet vs Scotty Riggs
Ah, man, could you imagine that? Your tag partner gets to go on to be Buff Bagwell and you’re stuck as half of the American Males. Bummer. Absolute bummer. Match is your basic TV affair, ends when Buff shows up as Riggs has Wallstreet pinned and attacks him to draw the DQ. Really? I mean, Riggs can’t even get a clean win over VK? Clearly they were grooming Wallstreet for a run with the title, so it’s good he wasn’t pinned here.
Riggs wins via DQ at 4:23 | *
Piper is out, and of course this goes down in history as one of the worst, so-bad-it’s-good segments of all time. Piper is creating a team for Uncensored, so he’s gonna fight them, with the crowed voting whether or not they stay or go. The first guy has a ponytail and taps out pretty quick to a Kimora Lock. The second guy looks like Chuck Lidell’s younger brother. He puts up a better fight, but Piper puts him down with a sleeper. 3rd guy comes down, but the 4th guy runs down with boxing gloves and knocks him out. They then have a lame boxing match, with the guy looking like some sorta strip-club bouncer who’s twice divorced and fighting in his underwear. So, what’s the deal, because Roddy allowed Hogan to beat him, after he beat him with the sleeper, he gets to beat 6 guys back to back? The crowd votes the guy out, but Piper clearly wants them to vote him in. The 5th guy literally looks like a CAW from WCW/nWo Revenge or something, as he has terrible hair, shitty tattoos, and sweats over a singlet. He’s a martial arts cat who’s pulling his kicks and such and making them look like shit. The crowd is absolutely dead, although there are a few “boring” chants. John Tenta comes out, otherwise known as Earthquake, Avalanche, The Shark, and Golga. He gets a pop, and the crowd digs him. All of a sudden, the other two start fighting with Shark, and Piper digs it. I should have timed that segment, because it was at least 3 hours long. Absolutely look it up on youtube if you haven’t seen it.
Rey Mysterio vs Mr. JL
We get a small-window interview from Prince Iaukea while this match starts, and it continues to absolutely baffle why this guy was given the belt, because he’s one of the most anti-charismatic guys I’ve ever seen. The match is your standard cut & paste crusierweight match from Nitro. I’m not entirely sure that JL is still Jerry Lynn. Rey wins with the West Coast Pop.
Rey gets the pin after the West Coast Pop at 4:04 | *1/2
The nWo come out, with Sting in tow, matter of fact. This is when the nWo was at it’s biggest, as in the ring at one time we have Bischoff, Hogan, Buff, Macho, Liz, Ted, Vince, Norton, Hall, and Syxx, and we’re missing Wallstreet and Traylor. They say the usual stuff. Piper is a joke, they’re gonna crush his team, and they’re the true icons.
Steiner Brothers vs Lex Luger & The Giant
Luger & Rick start off with Sexy Flexy Lexy getting the best of him. Tag into Scott, and Scott turns the tables until Lex is able to tag in the Giant. They go at it for a second until the nWo comes out of the crowd to effectively kill a match that was actually getting good. Well, Piper’s Team shows up, and honestly, I think that does more harm than good. We get a bit of a brawl, and it’s fade to black.
Summary: Not an amazing show, that’s for sure. We had a ton of filler style matches, and one classic segment, which was classic for being horrible. The last 6 minutes or so really picked up, but that was about it. Next week is the go home show for Uncensored, which is shaping up to be a pretty damn good PPV.